[ SECRET POST #1963 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1963 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________


















[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















12. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF]



__________________________________________________



13. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]



__________________________________________________



14. [SPOILERS for Prototype 2]



__________________________________________________



15. [SPOILERS for Young Justice]



__________________________________________________



16. [SPOILERS for Avengers]



__________________________________________________

















[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]


















17. [TRIGGER WARNING for suicide]

[Oblivion]


__________________________________________________



18. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

[Spartacus: Blood and Sand]


__________________________________________________



19. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse/rape? I think. better safe anyway]

[Rihanna, Man Down]


__________________________________________________



20. [TRIGGER WARNING for abuse]



__________________________________________________





























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #280.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

01. http://i49.tinypic.com/v4uul4.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I'm having a similar experience with a fandom friend. You have my sympathy, anon.

[writerserenyty.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness, you have so much sympathy from me, anon. In the same situation except the person's not from fandom and he has a long-time girlfriend instead of being married. Still it really really sucks :(

[(Anonymous)]

It really does suck. :( But your guy, it sounds like he's still alive so you can still have a chance to do things differently.

[writerserenyty.livejournal.com]

I didn't even really register that OP's person wasn't alive :( :( :( :( :( :( :( So sorry!!!

[(Anonymous)]

There's always someone else if you want there to be. Hang in there, OP.

[anonlulz.livejournal.com]

It's always the married ones.

[drunken-clowns.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if she was married, then unless it was an open relationship you didn't stand a chance (and I don't know you, you might not have wanted to date her in that case anyway). Don't feel bad about it. It probably would have been healthy to tell her about your feelings, but who knows if the friendship would have been awkward after. Maybe you would have ended up wishing you didn't.

I can't say if that was it for you, but there are a lot of people in the world and if you want to be with somebody, then it's better to at least make the effort to meet new people and see if you can feel that kind of spark again. If there's anything to take from this experience, it's that hanging back and refusing to at least try won't get you anywhere.

[(Anonymous)]

Always a heart-breaking situation, I agree. *Hugs you, OP*

[(Anonymous)]

I'm married and am starting to think there's more than one person for everyone. Not that I'd cheat on my husband, but over the last year, I've gotten really attached to two different people in fandom that I'd likely never have a chance with for a lot of different reasons (aside from being married). Oddly, I'd still like to know.

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

If this person was happily married, I think you did her a service by staying silent. I've never met this person and have no idea if she's the sort who can hear "I love you" and then continue the friendship without awkwardness, so I can't say for sure either way. But it's hard to turn someone down and continue interacting with them while they're nursing your rejection.

[(Anonymous)]

I wish I had told her, not in the sense of seeking a relationship or needing to be rejected. Maybe, if she'd wanted there could've been something. She told me a couple of times that her husband would've been okay with her being with a woman, and I'm not really that into sex anyway. But maybe something.

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

Ah, well I did incorrectly assume that the marriage was completely monogamous. In part because I read "she was married" as "she was completely unavailable to me." If you had reasonable cause to believe all parties may well have been totally cool with it, I withdraw my former "it was probably for the best" comment.

[(Anonymous)]

Joining in with those encouraging you to keep an open mind and heart, OP. I know it may not feel like there's anyone else there for you - I'm in a similar situation myself in that regard - but there are so many people out there and you never know who you will meet.

I'm so sorry it worked out that way for you. That's so rough. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

We're not each allotted one and only one person to fall in love with. The universe just doesn't work that way. Some people never fall in love. Some people fall in love multiple times. There are people who have lost a beloved partner and went on to find another one they loved too and were very happy with.

You can think of yourself as being in that last group, if you wish. There can be someone else out there for you who is available and just as into you as you are into them. I can't guarantee that will happen, but the chances are as good for you as for anyone. It's just a matter of who you meet and whether you're open to looking at them that way.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry that you feel like you lost your one and only, but at the point that they are married it's honestly best that you didn't confess your love.

Anyone who tries to break up a marriage is evil!

[(Anonymous)]

I agree that breaking up a marriage is evil, but way to jump to conclusions there. That wouldn't have been the situation at all.

Anyone who jumps to conclusions is evil! D:

[(Anonymous)]

It's nice to know that you're loved, regardless of whatever the case may be. Then you deal from there. If OP had confessed her love, it would not have necessarily broken up a marriage....there's an old saying, "It takes two to tango."

[(Anonymous)]

Adding on to the chorus that there could be other people out there for you, OP, if you keep your eyes open. As hard (and unbelievable and sometimes maybe even cruel) as it can seem sometimes, there's never really The One forever more that you'll have That Special Chemistry with. Spending the rest of your life alone pining after someone, tempting though it may be, isn't as romantic as certain stories lead us to believe.

[silverau.livejournal.com]

You say she died? ;.; I'm sorry for your loss. ;.;

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a bit confused as to whether she died, or is just no longer a friend? Your secret sounds like it's in the past.

I think not telling someone in these situations is always for the best. I've been in your situation a couple of times, and it is horrible, but I always did remind myself that i wouldn't want to be with a married person, I know people who've gone down that route, and it's just awful and painful and the third party often wastes years clutching at straws. I also know a couple of relationships that are people who were originally in an affair with each other, and now they can't trust their new partner, knowing they both cheated and that's how they got together, makes for a very paranoid future.

The other thing I realised is that if the person felt the same way there are two options, they feel so madly in love with you that they would think of ending their marriage, or cheating, or even just telling you and having a non sexual romantic thing. Second option is they feel the same way, but don't want to risk their marriage which still comes first, in which case you telling them is just awkward.

The other option which in my case I concluded is that they don't return your feelings and like you as a friend, even if they flirt a bit, and telling them would just be awkward.

I think unless you knew she might return your feelings, or her marriage was an open one, then you did the right thing in the end and shouldn't regret that.