fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #192 ]

[ SECRET POST #192 ]

⌈ Secret Post #192 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #027.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 ] broken links, [ 1 2 ] not!secrets, [ 1 2 ] not!fandom, [ 1 ] repeat.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Tuesday, July 17th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I promise you, you're talking to someone who was in the same boat. I grew up in rural Tennessee, buckle of the bible belt, and I was an incredibly outspoken liberal. I thought everyone hated me, and to an extent quite a few did, but there are always kindred spirits if you're not completely on the fringe yourself.

It really wasn't until my last year of high school that I discovered Cookeville's not just a bunch of rednecks and bible-thumpers---there are a lot of truly GOOD PEOPLE HERE.

I think a big part of people's problems, beyond all that, is that they think they need to find peers with completely similar interests. None of my friends are in fandom, and it IS a thing I have to conceal with certain people, but honestly? That is life. I love my friends and would do anything for them, but no relationship is perfect.

I'm... kind of fringey. I do have a few offline friends, just none from my own graduating class -- long story short, they freaked out when the depression hit and never quite recovered from, uh, my mental illness. They also didn't like the whole bisexual Pagan academic schtick, and I wasn't willing to stay closeted. No big loss there; if they're only going to dislike who I really am, why bother putting on a show?

I guess I'm missing "my" bookstore fairly intensely, as it was my biggest source of non-internet interaction. There was one on Main Street, only it was just forced to close, so no more writerly gatherings for young and old. I ought to email a few of the others, see if they want to meet somewhere else. There were some under the age of forty! Really! ;-)

Oh, that's not fringe, not really. By fringe, I mean if you're an open fursuiter into scat porn, you may have difficulty finding kindred spirits.

Unless you're living in a town where you literally do know EVERYONE, there is someone nearby you can find if you look hard enough. College campus and college groups are BY FAR the best starting points, but there are other ways, too.

*snerk* Nope, I'm not the troll from poor_skills the other day. I promise. ;-) I do live in one of those areas (it's more of a three-town amalgamation), and I've been at a community college where, no shit, I can count the number of non-professors I befriended on one hand. Maybe living away this fall will be good for my social skills (or lack thereof).

Thanks for listening to the blather. I never know where to turn for help on these things, so I end up gravitating to threads like this.

Where are you going? Location change like that can DEFINITELY help, as long as you're not too scared to try. Which can indeed be scary.

Here's a good secret to building friendships, though: Don't be ashamed of hiding some parts of yourself. If you find someone who truly respects you, they're much more likely to respect anything else you choose to divulge (though there is always a risk). Even in fandom, that's how things work, just on a different level. :)

Not going far away at all -- forty-five minutes, from one rural edge of the city to the other. The Yoda to my Luke will be within hollering distance, which is nice.

*writes down advice* Hold... something... back. Right! Got it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #192 ]

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