Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2012-06-30 03:24 pm
[ SECRET POST #2006 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2006 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 135 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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But also, I still say douchedom knows no bounds.
I had a friend back in college who was a gay man (I'm a bisexual woman.) His best friend in the world, who he was even closer to than he was to me, was a straight woman he'd known from childhood. They were inseparable BFFs. He fell in with a clique of other gay guys, and he really wanted them to see him as cool and wanted to fit in with them. He took to sneering constantly about "breeders" and making jokes about straight people all the time.
Now, I'm queer too. I get that homophobia sucks, and I get that once in a while blowing off steam by joking about straight people isn't a sin. But my friend was doing it so much and so nastily that he was really hurting his BFF's feelings -- and over what? I couldn't see a reason beyond wanting to fit in with those other guys, as he'd never acted like that before.
So I called him on it. And he stopped. Why? Not because "oppressed people don't have to be nice to oppressors, it says so on Derailing for Dummies, but sometimes they bestow kindness like a gift upon those who harm them" but because someone had the guts to tell him "You are behaving like a douche right now."
I'm queer. I wasn't a butthurt straight person. I was a person watching him hurt his friend to fit in with the cool kids, and who told him to cut it the fuck out.
Which is my point. Not that oppression doesn't exist or doesn't matter, but that douchebaggery is douchebaggery and people shouldn't be douches.
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Pretty much this, yeah. That's part of why I no longer affiliate myself with feminist movements. I got really tired of the policing. And online -- yeesh! I'm so glad to be rid of "read the roooooooooolz!" where "the rules" are a ten thousand word document about proscribed opinions, ideas, and behavior. *shudder*