fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2010 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2010 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Panic! at the Disco/One Direction]

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03.

[Mad Men]

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04.

[My Princess]

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05.

[Questionable Content]

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06.

[NCIS]

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07.

[Okami]

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08.

[la brigade chimérique]

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09.

[Ally McBeal]

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10.

[SS Omega]

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11.

[Final Fantasy XIII]

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12.

[A Song of Ice and Fire]

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13.

[Heroes]

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14.

[Salma Hayek and Cote De Pablo]

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15.

[True Love, "Holly's Class"]

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16.

[Star Trek TNG]

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17.

[Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core]

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18.

[Katawa Shoujo]

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19.

[US Women's Gymnastics]

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20.

[Legend of Korra]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Beyond the other comments I made, admittedly the last couple of lines on the bottom were sort of intentionally trollish, but in a light-hearted sort of way. I'm kind of sorry I put them there. ._.

The last bits just made me assume you were a yaoi fangirl going through a "trans"-phase. Sadly it happens more often than you'd think.

I've been a "yaoi fangirl" for about half my life, enough to comfortably assume it's not a phase. I have nothing against het or yuri (have het ships, have yuri ships, I ship just about everything), grew out of that very quickly. More or less, it's just this... feeling I have.

I figure there are going to be people who don't believe I'm trans, or say otherwise. That's fine. I'm no activist, and I'm not that adamant about it. My usual modus operandi is to tell people hey, don't expect me to conform to my physical sex's gender roles or expectations, because I'm not going to.

I do experience a bit of frustration sexually. I'm not a physically sexual person to a degree, and often feel a longing for a male body because it feels like something I would get to enjoy more. It's difficult to describe, and yes, while the slash and yaoi fandom has been big in my life, I'm not sure it's the only thing that led to the way I feel.

In fact, I think I kind of know what did it. I was with a guy once who was adamantly against any girl "dominating" him. I have a fairly dominant in-bed personality (if that's TMI, my apologies), but he would get very upset if I tried to take too much initiative. I became fairly resentful of that attitude (and it was part of the reason we broke up)... not that it led to physical self-hate, I'm proud of my body as it is. It's harder to describe than I think I'm able to...

But I guess longing for the ability to penetrate someone, and feel it like it were a part of my body and not just plastic (i.e. a strap-on), that's what I long for. I'm not going to have it in this lifetime, and I know that, so I take a pretty lax view on my trans-ness and just ask for people not to expect... what's the term, cisgender? behavior from me. I don't push for a male pronoun or male name (though some friends have taken to calling me a certain name as a joke), just that little bit of understanding.

I think there is a subtle difference between "squeee, I wish I had a penis and could be the kawaii bishie" and "fuck, my body is completely goddamn wrong"

By subtle, I mean glaring.

[ SECRET POST #2010 ]

OP (maker of secret)

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