[ SECRET POST #2010 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2010 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Panic! at the Disco/One Direction]


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03.
[Mad Men]


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04.
[My Princess]


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05.
[Questionable Content]


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06.
[NCIS]


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07.
[Okami]


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08.
[la brigade chimérique]


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09.
[Ally McBeal]


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10.
[SS Omega]


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11.
[Final Fantasy XIII]


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12.
[A Song of Ice and Fire]


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13.
[Heroes]


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14.
[Salma Hayek and Cote De Pablo]


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15.
[True Love, "Holly's Class"]


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16.
[Star Trek TNG]


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17.
[Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core]


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18.
[Katawa Shoujo]


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19.
[US Women's Gymnastics]


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20.
[Legend of Korra]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[rabidsamfan]

There is no purpose to lava lamps beyond "ooh, pretty nightlight".

Your life sounds like it was wonderful. The security of your family and your routines more than made up for the changes as you travelled and the hard work.

If it's any comfort at all, being terribly homesick for the life you had as a child/teen isn't uncommon. And it sounds like your uncle has set a criteria, which will get you back where you belong in time. When that happens, as an adult, you'll be better able to mediate between your culture and the "outside" people, than adults who never lived outside. Hopefully, that means you'll be able to ward off CPS when necessary, by knowing what criteria they're looking for and using the arguments and language which will convince them that the children of the group are safe and well cared for. (You might try researching homeschooling rules and laws in the states where you travel. There may be tests which the kids can take to show their school progress long before the GED. I'm pretty sure there are in Pennsylvania, at least.)

Good luck.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, CPS made us take all those tests, and truthfully, we're pretty careful. There's always at least one adult who is a certified teacher, and the rest make do. At the time though, my mother made some...interesting...allegations against my family, because she wanted custody. CPS had a few reasons to take us, or so they thought.

Interacting with the outside world on this level has made me more aware of how we're seen, and I think you're right in that I now know what it is they want to hear. I think I will be more useful than I ever was. At the same time though, it's also cemented the idea that we are "other" to most people. (Seriously, this is my culture, not a damn Halloween costume. That's so unbelievably rude)

Yeah, lava lamps. Don't get them. I'd never seen a blender or a toaster before either. Those were interesting.

[rabidsamfan]

Ah, Halloween costumes and stereotypes, and misconceptions... Yet another layer of complication in the world. I get a tiny taste of it in the way my profession gets stereotyped, but I'm not shy about using that stereotype to get what I might need, much the way you sold henna tattoos and fortunes to people who didn't very much about your culture.

At the same time, the stereotype can be harmful. In my case, it means that people assume I can't or won't do things I'm perfectly capable of. In your case it draws the interest of government agencies which are there to protect people who might never have help otherwise. I can't argue with the existence of CPS -- I've known too many children who really have been abused -- but the misconceptions are problematic when they cause official action.

Would teaching the sociology professors who teach the people who will become the social workers about your culture make a difference in the long run? I don't know. Would that level of interaction be seen as a kind of betrayal by the people in your culture? I don't know that either.

But I think you've chipped away at a few misconceptions just by being willing to respond to people here.

[(Anonymous)]

Interaction is...complicated. There's Rules, and I do mean Rules with a capital R. And then there are rules made for each group. My uncle doesn't mind some talking, he's more, I guess the word is liberal, about that kind of thing, moreso than my grandfather supposedly was. But I'm still not supposed to talk about the exact relations between my family and I (As in, who is actually my cousin, and who is this guy who joined us four years ago and is not actually related to any of us but I call him my cousin because it's much easier), I'm not supposed to name how many children we currently have or their ages, I'm not supposed to talk about our income, I'm not supposed to reveal our route, and I'm not supposed to tell outsiders about certain traditions and the like.

As for the fulfilling a stereotype, the more I interact with outsiders, the more I think maybe that's just making our lives harder in the long run. Being apart is our lifestyle, but we need some level of respect to make people like CPS see us as safe. I'm not sure anymore. However, if and when I go home, I'll probably fall right back into it, if we need some income. So I don't know.

[khronos_keeper]

>I'm not supposed to name how many children we currently have or their ages, I'm not supposed to talk about our income, I'm not supposed to reveal our route, and I'm not supposed to tell outsiders about certain traditions and the like.

Sorry to butt in, but this is fascinating. I see some of this mirrored in the more traditional, old fashioned people in my area. For us, it has something to do with superstitions and class?

I can't even explain it. Some of it has to do with being punished for drawing too much attention to yourself or your family and having misfortune brought down on you, and some of it has to do with just rules like it ain't classy to talk about how much you're getting per hundredweight for your milk.

But thank you for sharing and explaining to us some of your Rules, they're incredible.

[(Anonymous)]

It's privacy. I can't explain it either. Some outsiders think it's a luck thing, or something, but it's really just...I don't know. It's our family, and they have to be kept safe. The way to keep everyone safe is by hiding them from the rest of the world, sheltering them.

Which is why when my mother sicced CPS on us, she was cut off from the family. She disrupted the family, she lied, but more than that, she broke the capital r Rules. I never really forgave her for it, in the end. I spent two weeks in the system, only a few months after my father had passed, all alone (They separated us all for some reason), and I was too young to understand what was going on.

Even then, it's just...it's how we are. We keep ourselves to ourselves. Strangers aren't even supposed to be in our camp. (Except that one time this guy was sleeping in a tree and fell out in the middle of dinner) (I don't know who was more shocked, him or us)

[rabidsamfan]

Wow. I'll tell you one thing I wish you could tell CPS and people like them -- that if they do intervene, they need to keep the kids in at the very least pairs. Because being all alone among a bunch of strangers is way too traumatic for a child who is used to being part of a tight group.

(I really ought to start reading your upthread comments before I answer you, huh?)

[rabidsamfan]

The Rules probably began for good reasons, but those reasons may not be as valid as they were once. I'm sure you've observed by now that when people don't have accurate data, they extrapolate from situations they think are similar (which is a fancy way of saying that they make shit up!), and that is probably why you're getting the marrying cousins and arranged marriages questions. Both are common in some other secretive or isolated communities which have had the lid torn off the top in recent years. (I'm thinking the polygamous Mormons and a couple of other cults, off the top of my head.)

You said that your group keeps at least one qualified teacher there -- what if you (or another person from your group) went ahead and studied sociology and became the qualified "social worker" of the group. Someone who could slip into the jargon of academia and soothe the fears/concerns of the social workers from the outside. (Here, look how we've covered Maslow's hierarchy of needs for our children!) It would be something to discuss with your uncle or whomever, I suppose. I can't see much of a way around the problem of not being able to say how many children and their ages, though. That kind of data is what makes agencies happy. (Do they all have the appropriate vaccinations, for example, might be one of the questions on the mind of a CPS person, and it's hard to say "all" when you don't know how many kids there are.)

The stereotype is problematic, I have to agree. But the most harmful aspects of it aren't the henna tattoos and fortune telling. Those are both fun, and pretty harmless. And even if the academic world gets a better idea of your culture, it would take a long time for that to filter down to where you couldn't raise income from those things. (If ever. I have a fading henna tattoo of Watson on my left arm as I type!) In any case, you have an opportunity now to learn things that may help when you take them back. I wish you very well.