[ SECRET POST #2016 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2016 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #288.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't necessarily condone arranged marriage, but there's also a big difference: the people choosing your potential spouse are your parents. While your parents aren't perfect, they are generally people that do want the best for you and will look for a suitable partner. It might not be someone you'd love, but someone you'd get along with or like. College roommates are not chosen with the same consideration.

Again, I don't necessarily agree with it, but there are definitely cultures that support it and not without reason. It's not like love necessarily does a better job picking a life partner: how many marriages based on love still end in divorce and/or abuse? If anything, the two parties marrying would go in with clearer heads.

[nachtmusik]

...Uh, no? The common thing in cultures that go with arranged marriages is to use a matchmaker, who is just as much of a third party as those in charge of setting up college roommates. And even in cases like with Brave, the criteria wasn't which of the 3 suitors would be the best match for Merida. It was which of them could do the best job of hitting a target with an arrow. Had Merida been compliant with the whole thing, she'd have been married off to a boy that snaps into rabid dog mode on a semi-regular basis. Sounds like a wonderful idea to me, suuuuuure.

And quite frankly, the idea of my parents picking who I'm going to marry for me is just appalling. Even if the choice was someone I'd get along well with or what have you, the fact of the matter is that marriage is a major, life-altering thing, and it's my life, so the decision should be mine. Even if I make a bad choice and regret it later and get a divorce. Even if I never get married. Even if I can't get married because the person I would choose to marry happens to be another woman [assuming wherever I live still outlaws same sex marriage].

Sure, maybe some people are fine with arranged marriages, and so long as both parties in any given couple whose marriage is set up that way is alright with it, it's none of my business. But it's ridiculous IMO to scoff at someone for rebelling against it. I can't think of any good argument to tell someone who is against arranged marriages and doesn't want to have one that they should suck and up and do it.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think so, at least I can provide a link that Indian parents usually are the "matchmakers": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage_in_the_Indian_subcontinent#Developments_in_the_modern_period India ≠ everywhere, but I do have evidence to support my claim.

Had Merida been compliant with the whole thing, she'd have been married off to a boy that snaps into rabid dog mode on a semi-regular basis.

That's great, but you were talking about arranged marriages as a whole. That's what I was disputing. They can be substantially less random than the college roommate.

And quite frankly, the idea of my parents picking who I'm going to marry for me is just appalling.

Your culture ≠ everyone's culture. Many other people are content with that. We're not talking about you, an American (based on your profile), we're talking about people who were raised in a culture with arranged marriage being the norm. Those people are not wrong for not agreeing with you.

Sure, maybe some people are fine with arranged marriages, and so long as both parties in any given couple whose marriage is set up that way is alright with it, it's none of my business. But it's ridiculous IMO to scoff at someone for rebelling against it. I can't think of any good argument to tell someone who is against arranged marriages and doesn't want to have one that they should suck and up and do it.

I never said anything about it being wrong to rebel. You were talking about how horrible it is as an institution and compared it to college roommates. I just said that there are a bunch of cultures where it is common and acceptable and that it isn't as random as you're making it out to be. You were making ignorant statements about arranged marriage and I took issue with that. Rebelling against that is nothing wrong, but what you were saying was wrong.