fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2021 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2021 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #289.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

10. http://i50.tinypic.com/20hkac8.png

I'm always really suprised when I find out someone in fandom doesn't like making blanket statements about big groups.

Oh piss off, you're boring.

(no subject)

diet_poison - 2012-07-15 22:30 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-15 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

habilelapin - 2012-07-16 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-16 04:28 (UTC) - Expand

habilelapin - 2012-07-16 05:35 (UTC) - Expand

Ridiculous secret. *head shake*

Although A+ for Elfen Lied usage.

I myself was both the loner and the bullied kid (the former because of the latter), but that's a huge assumption you shouldn't make. Just because it's true for some doesn't mean it is for all.

Holy assumptions Batman! No matter how many times I hear or read a variation of 'You guys must be all the same' it makes my head hurt.

As a corollary, would you be surprised to meet a bullied loner kid who has never been in fandom?

Why

I find it weird that everyone who has responded to this so far seems to think the OP was saying, "LOL, fandom is full of losers," rather than, "Wow, I thought my own experiences were more universal."

...Are those mutually exclusive?

mte. OP didn't sound like s/he meant anything bad about loners/bullied kids, just that she was one herself :\

Yeah, me too. I read it as being surprised that people who aren't bullied/loners ever fell into fandom, because fandom is very time consuming and a pretty good coping mechanism. I thought it was a comment on time management and motives and stuff. :|

IDK, it sounded more like "I expected everyone in fandom to be just like me"--which is just ridiculous.

Those are both equally really shitty assumptions though

Gotta love how the only people called out for making sweeping generalizations are the ones who have been so consistently shat on that said generalizations have proven to be overwhelmingly accurate.

You sound like someone who's going to be rehashing their middle school woes when they're forty.

habilelapin - 2012-07-16 02:25 (UTC) - Expand

said generalizations have proven to be overwhelmingly accurate.

citation needed

Interesting. IRL most of my friends were bullied/loners when growing up. Idk about my fandom buddies - probably because I never ask. It's too personal somehow, so I don't want to make any assumptions.

I'm not saying online communities are not generally easier places to speak up in for socially anxious or bullied folk, but why the surprise. It's like being surprised that whoever that asshole on that board is isn't a 13-year old brat but a 30-something with a day job, or that the dude you play games with online isn't covered in cheeto dust.

Then again, I am a part of the "bullied as a kid" group. You could probably count me in as a loner too, except that implies I'm lonely. What's the word for voluntarily solitary?

Asocial? I think. Possibly antisocial, IDK.

Oh, well, hi.

I was picked on a little bit as a kid? but not seriously, serially bullied. Probably what I experienced is similar to what most kids do (outside of the in-crowd at least).

And I'm not a loner. Quite the contrary, I'm actually very much an extrovert.

I think the majority by far of people active in fandom are introverts, but not all of us! Nor do all have the same childhood experiences. This is not to de-legitimize the experience of those in fandom who have been bullied, or judge those who choose to spend good deal of time by themselves. And I do think the proportions of people with those experiences are much higher here than in the population at large.

But you are kinda making a blanket assumption there, OP, which is generally not a good idea. The only things all people in online fandom have in common is that they're fans and have (at least some) access to the Internet.

I wonder if "People who like what I like are just like me" should be a Geek Social Fallacy.

diet_poison - 2012-07-16 02:25 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2012-07-16 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

Yes, because fandom is only for socially awkward people/loners/victims of bullying.

/sarcasm

Dude, I was a cheerleader throughout school. Stop assuming everyone who thinks comic shops are awesome and Korra is badass were social outcasts.

I've been a bully, I've been bullied, and I've been multiple variations of bystander. I've also been both the "loner" (when I wanted solitude) and the social butterfly when I wanted friends.

I would join the bandwagon and chide you for making such broad blanket assumptions, OP, but depending on your online history I can see how you might naturally arrive at that assumption without it resulting from stereotyping. There was a period of my online life where I tended to interact largely with other people like me who didn't go out often and were very shut-in types. Made things awkward when there was a sudden jump in my social life a little while later, and I basically stopped talking about my offline life because I didn't want to alienate my online friends with how much I was going out, partying, ect. when (I thought) most of them were still just hanging around at home all the time when they weren't at work/school. Took us all a while to realize that many of us were doing this because of our previous perceptions of fandom/each other.

If you are the "bullied loner kid" (and especially if you got into fandom because that's what you are/consider yourself), then I wouldn't be too surprised if the people you hung out with (interacted with a lot, related to the most, or even just learned about their personal histories the most) were also like that, and thus ended up with the perception that this was the norm for fandom.

Go ahead, be surprised (all these years and I sometimes have to remind myself that a lot of people in fandom have active offline social lives). Just try not to act on it/say stuff about it/ect - keep the surprise to yourself. :)