fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2021 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2021 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #289.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This somehow needs to be written, I don't care who or what.

Okay but do they defeat a technologically superior alien race with l33t computer skillz or collect blood samples from criminals in Miami?

OR this could happen.

"I have self-lubricated my anus for you Dexter." Jeff Goldblum announced.

"Darling, are you sure you don't mind having a threesome with my dark passenger?" Dexter asked again because he was big on consent issues like a true gentleman. Even serial killers can have manners.

"Yes. Yes. Put your dark passenger in me." Jeff Goldblum panted, writhing on the table.

"Please keep on the plastic," Dexter reminded his lover. "You are very sexy but that is not an acceptable excuse for sloppiness." He put his penis inside of his lover's ass womb. There was sex.

"I am coming. I am coming inside of your self-lubricated anus Jeff Goldblum." Dexter shouted. His penis knotted because he had accidentally got some werewolf blood in his mouth during his last kill. He wasn't a werewolf though, just his penis.

His penis kept coming inside of his lover's uterectum.

"Fill me up with your hot Dexter sperm. Fill me up an implausible amount."

His penis kept coming. It got a little boring. They discussed Avatar.

"I don't care what you say Mako is Korra's true love." Dexter announced as his penis finally slipped out.

"I am pregnant. I am pregnant with the child of someone who stans Mako." Jeff Goldblum cried out. "Are they mine." "Oh my god how could you say that to me?" Jeff Goldblum ran away and cried.

Now he's in labor and doesn't know what to do because he is not a full grown adult who knows how to call 911. There's blood and stuff. It's gross. It's probably a good thing Dexter is not there. If he saw that he would pass out and not be attracted to Jeff Goldblum's fertile sphincter anymore.

He has twins. A boy and a girl. They are beautiful raptors with giant fly wings and eyes. He decides to name them Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr.

Dexter runs up. "OMG I am so glad I found you. I could not live without you. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Well, I could eat. I had a Big Mac on the way over here but you know what I mean. I am so sorry promise you'll never leave me again."

"Do you see our analbabies?" "Yes and they are beautiful what are their names." "Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr." "I love you."

Dextina ate her parents while her brother played with Dexter's phone. It is an Iphone so obviously he accidentally shut down Skynet and saved the world. They were heroes until he and Dextina ate everybody. Neatly. Even serial killing, l33t hacker, raptor-fly mutants have manners.