fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2023 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2023 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #289.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

same anon again...

You know, you're right, and perhaps I've jumped to an unfortunate conclusion about the reaction my friend might have. I have a lot of faith in her, and I do think that maybe we can both end up on the other side of this in a better place.

Thank you for your help.

Oh, you're welcome. *hugs* Do let us know how it goes.

same anon

*hugs* Will do!

I just read the rest of this thread, and FWIW, I don't think you're being rude or pushy. I don't befriend homophobic or racist or sexist people, and when my Republican Evangelical fundamentalist family displays that behavior, I either call them out on it or remove myself from the situation. If you can't say to somebody, "Hey, this is really important to me and I need to know how you feel about it and I'm willing to work with you whatever your answer is," then you probably weren't really friends to begin with in the first place. I am deeply shocked that anybody thinks you're out of bounds by trying to have a real conversation with someone you consider to be a friend and have for years.

Republican Evangelical fundamentalist family

*sigh* You too?

Yeah. :( It's very difficult to deal with.

At least for me, it's just one uncle and his immediate family. Well, actually a fair amount of my extended family is Republican but most of them aren't obnoxious about it. Many of them are Christians too; whether I'd consider them "evangelical", I'm not sure, though they might call themselves that.

I'm a Christian but that's where the similarities end. I get so tired of my uncle going on about how much he hates marriage equality (he puts quotes around the word "marriage" when talking about gay marriage, and talks about how perverted he thinks it is, etc.) and his kids (my cousins) have made nasty remarks on the subject to my friends on Facebook - including at least one friend who is gay. They can also be rather nasty to non-Christians (and one had the gall to tell me he was "evangelizing" my friend after basically insulting her and calling her an idiot for being an atheist. Boy, you can bet I gave him a piece of my mind for that one.)

Fortunately (if a bit sadly) this particular family kind of cloisters themselves away from the rest of us. They never visit any of our family members (even though I know they could afford to, my uncle is a fucking airline pilot, srsly) and rarely even talk to us unless we're in their neighborhood visiting other family members. I think they're blinded by their massive holier-than-thou complex. But at least they don't bring their idiocy into the rest of our lives unprompted.

What about you?

It's my whole family. Mom, dad, aunts, uncles, living grandparent. It's a bit like being besieged. Very conservative, very Republican, Southern Baptist, the earth is 6000 years old, dinosaurs and people roamed the earth together, the Bible is the literal truth word for word, we have issues with gay people, women and brown people but we won't admit that we do kinda folks.

Thank goodness my husband's side of the family is liberal and progressive and socially progressive Christian.

I'm so sorry your family has accosted your friends. :( I know that must have been terrible. But I'm glad that you mostly don't have to deal with them. *hugs*

"Accosted" might be a strong word. But I posted some stuff about how I feel about marriage equality with appropriate funny/clever pictures on my Facebook, and they'd get on there and be all like "gayz = pervz" and some of my friends would see them, not know they were related to me (different last name, and not that it matters anyway), and respond with a usually logical and civil counter-argument. Then they would call my friends idiots, "evangelize" them, etc. and when one of my friends revealed to them that he was gay and shared some of his experiences, they didn't stop with their homophobic comments, which really pissed me off.

Fortunately they haven't done that in a while. If it happens again I'll probably threaten to delete their comments if they can't be civil (and follow through if necessary). Thing is, I love a good civil debate and jump at the chance to make someone on the other side of an issue I care about see my pov - especially since I was younger and didn't know any better I jumped on the "gay marriage is wrong" bandwagon, though with considerably less enthusiasm. So I don't want to just shut them down. But I have to draw the line and their treatment of my friends. =/

This just brings home to me why I have eschewed Facebook. LOL Besides being a teacher and not wanting to go through the hassle of constantly denying students access, I do not want to be Internet friends with my family because they'd likely do something very similar.

Ah, that makes sense. If your whole family is like that, yeah... (sucks too. *hugs*)

It's generally worth it to me, since I only have these few family members who otherwise never talk to me...and FB is so useful for keeping up with people when I'm away. Because I'm a 22yo college kid...many/most of my friends/family aren't geographically close to me at any given time.

*nods*

That makes sense.

I'm 33, and my husband has a FB, so I let him keep up with the people we used to know in college. :)

[ SECRET POST #2023 ]

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