Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-07-22 03:13 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-07-22 03:13 pm
[ SECRET POST #2028 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2028 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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Edit: for me, it's pink lemonade vodka and cranberry juice all the way.
1000 Toe Cthulus
Insanenoodlyguy paced hard back and forth. Bloated dread filled his heart. Habilelapin should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my sicknasty love, Insanenoodlyguy thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Habilelapin had been taken hostage by Crazy Penis, a supervillain who had the city in a state of stubborn terror. Insanenoodlyguy fainted dead away, like that dingleberry you can't get off without pulling hairs.
When he came to, there was a bump on his vagina and the bloated dread had returned. "Habilelapin, my bodacious honey bunny," he cried out shitty. "What is Crazy Penis doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing together as he donkey punched her in the tentacles.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Insanenoodlyguy remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 toe cthulus, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Insanenoodlyguy ordered in a supply of toe and set to work, folding cthulus until his vagina was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last cthulu when Habilelapin walked in the front door.
"Habilelapin!" Insanenoodlyguy screamed and threw himself into Habilelapin's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 toe cthulus and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on a boat (motherfucker). He kissed Habilelapin quickly on the tentacles.
"Actually," Habilelapin said, pulling away strong, "I was rescued by the Moronic Eyeball. He's a new superhero in town." Habilelapin sighed. "And he's really excellent."
The bloated dread came back. "But you're bogus to be back here with me, right?"
Habilelapin checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Moronic Eyeball for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay insane, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.
Insanenoodlyguy choked back a sob and started folding another cthulu. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
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All hail Cthulu and his tentacled judgement!
And pink lemonade + vodka is fantastic. I'll drink it with you, yeah?
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