[ SECRET POST #2031 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2031 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[serenitysquid]

Don't forget the "who tops" fights among the slashers.

"[Character] WOULD NEVER ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE DOMINATED HE IS FAR TOO MANLY!"

"ARE YOU IMPLYING FEMININE MEN CAN'T TOP? YOU ARE A SEXISTHOMOPHOBEBLAHBLAHBLAH!"

"YOU'RE BOTH WRONG! REAL GAY MEN SWITCH, YOU MORONS!"

"WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHAT REAL GAY MEN LIKE? YOU'RE A STRAIGHT WOMAN!"

"SO ARE YOU!"

"OMG SEXISM!!!"

I have seen actual arguments go like this.

[biohazardgirl]

I have too! Just this morning, actually on my tumblr dashboard.

Don't forget accusations of sexism COUPLED with actual misogyny.

"WELL WE CAN'T AGREE WITH THIS BUT AT LEAST WE CAN AGREE THAT WOMAN A IS A WHORE FOR BEING WITH MAN A. CLEARLY MAN A AND MAN B ARE SOULMATES AND ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER AND SHE KNEW THAT AND TOOK MAN A ANYWAY. GOD SHE'S SUCH A HOMOPHOBE AND A LIFE RUINER."

[serenitysquid]

Ah, the good old "I don't like this character, therefore s/he is an evil slut" argument! Always fun, especially when paired with "I like this other character, therefore any bad thing s/he has done to the person I ship him/her with is not canon in my mind."

[biohazardgirl]

"VOLDEMORT IS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD OK HE DIDN'T REALLY ~MEAN~ THOSE THINGS HE DID TO HARRY. HE TRIED TO KILL HIM OUT. OF. LOVE. I'M SURE YOU CAN EMPATHIZE. I KNOW I CAN."

[serenitysquid]

"DRACO INSULTED HERMIONE WITH RACIAL SLURS TO HIDE HIS SECRET PASSION FOR HER."

Or, alternatively:

"LOKI TRIED TO COMMIT GENOCIDE BECAUSE HE IS A MISUNDERSTOOD WOOBIE WHO JUST NEEDS TO BE LOOOOOOOVED. AND BY THAT I MEAN HE NEEDS THOR'S PENIS."

...crap, this hypothetical shipping reality show NEEDS to become a reality.

[biohazardgirl]

What fandoms do you think would be part of it? Harry Potter & Avatar: The Last Airbender (Both the first series & LOK), obviously (THINK OF THE GLORIOUS WANK), but what else has really wanky shipping?

[serenitysquid]

Star Trek and Hetalia. Out of all the fandoms I've been in, those two have had some of the most vicious shipping wank I have ever witnessed (well, reboot!Trek anyway; TOS shippers seem much less... fanatical).

[biohazardgirl]

That's funny because Hetalia is just countries, isn't it? I would laugh so hard at a thread that argued about shipping countries, NGL

[serenitysquid]

Yeah, it's about countries. Which does make it sort of surreal and ridiculous when you think too hard about it.

Typical Hetalia ship war:

"ENGLAND AND AMERICA ARE MEANT TO BE!"

"LOL NO ENGLAND IS AMERICA'S DAD THAT'S INCEST YOU'RE GROSS. ENGLAND/FRANCE FOREVER."

"YOU SUCK! FRANCE IS A SLUT AND DOES NOT DESERVE ENGLAND AND ANYWAY HE CALLS AMERICA HIS BROTHER IN CANON."

"OH YEAH? WELL I SAY AMERICA BELONGS WITH RUSSIA!"

"AMERICA/RUSSIA IS THE WORST THING EVER! I AM A TRUE AMERICAN AND TRUE AMERICANS DO NOT SHIP AMERICA/RUSSIA BECAUSE THE COLD WAR AND EVIL COMMIES."

I really wish I was making this shit up.

[biohazardgirl]

THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

. . .does that make England/France the slap, slap, kiss ship? I kind of want to participate in this fandom now just so I can watch people pair up countries. . .

[serenitysquid]

England/America and England/France are both the slap-slap-kiss ship.

If you're serious about getting into the fandom I should probably warn you, there's a reason it's considered one of the most batshit fandoms ever. The shipping wars are hilarious, but then there's the people who do really disturbing, offensive stuff like writing fanfic using real historical tragedies as a backdrop for HOT BUTTSECKS. And the linguistic butchering, dear GOD, the linguistic butchering. If I had a penny for every time a writer obviously shoved a sentence or even a whole paragraph into Google Translate and didn't bother getting someone who actually knows the language to check for grammatical erors...

[biohazardgirl]

Eh. . .in that case maybe I'll just stick with the fandoms I already have. Problems you know better than the problems you don't! I'm used to omegaverse, randomly stumbling upon pony porn, and casual misogyny by now. . .

Google translate is terrible at accurate translations.

[kamikazemusume.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the cosplayers who drag flags on the ground at conventions (then get pissed off when you try to politely point that out) and the two different groups of cosplayers who 1. did a Nazi salute near a Holocaust museum on Passover weekend and 2. posted a photo of Germany and Prussia taking aim at a building that had a decoration on it which looked very much like the Star of David (it wasn't identical, but close enough that you could tell that was the intent).

But yeah, the shipping wars can be freaking hilarious, and I say that as someone who does actually ship pairings in Hetalia fandom (though more like World/World in my case).

[serenitysquid]

Damn, why did you have to remind me of the Nazi salute cosplay incident? I can't think about that without feeling mildly nauseous.

I actually ship a few pairings too, it's just... this fandom takes shipping so seriously, it's bizarre. I mean, we're talking about what is essentially a silly comic/show about anthropomorphized countries being dicks to each other. It's not SERIOUS BUSINESS, or at least it shouldn't be. Yet this is the only fandom (that I know of) where characters who've had less than five minutes of screentime are regularly bashed for "getting in the way" of someone's OTP.

[kamikazemusume.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I mentioned it.

Personally, I seem to recall there being shipping wars of this level of pettiness (the five minutes of screentime, as you said) in Harry Potter fandom, but I agree, it definitely shouldn't be SERIOUS BUSINESS. I thank my lucky stars that I grew disinterested in deviantART- and Gaia Online-centric fandom just before Hetalia hit big in the States, otherwise I would have had to see more of it up close and personal than I have being on LiveJournal (though it still pops up from time to time).

TOS shippers invented modern shipwank XD

[(Anonymous)]

TOS shippers appear less fanatical now, but remember that the fangirls back the the 70's who dared to publish the first full-on explicit Kirk/Spock stories set off a FIRESTORM! This link has a good synopsis of some of what went on, because Kirk/Spock was the first offically slashed ship.(http://fanlore.org/wiki/Slash_Controversies)

I wasn't alive then, but I've done a lot of research and interacted (online and IRL) with multiple fangirls who have either first hand experience of it (or had friends who did). The epic, years-long fighting among the slash fangirls vs. gen male fans vs. character-driven Kirk!girls and Spock!girls pretty much prefigures a lot of the drama that goes on in modern fandom. It's something that I would honestly love to see made into a miniseries, "Roots"-style. (Or at least see some kind of fic of. Come on F!S, it has to be out there somewhere right?)

Errrr... I guess I am a fanatical TOS shipper X_X

But I would love to see a general fandom shipping reality show too :D

Re: TOS shippers invented modern shipwank XD

[serenitysquid]

Somehow none of this surprises me at all. I had a feeling it was because TOS has been around for so long and the fandom has had plenty of time to mellow out.

I'd also like to see a documentary about Star Trek shipping wars! It would be fascinating to learn more about antique shipping wank from the time before the internet provided a convenient way to have pointless arguments with complete strangers. :D

_{And you don't sound like a fanatical shipper to me. If you started ranting about how anyone who doesn't ship Kirk/Spock is a homophobe, maybe.}

Re: TOS shippers invented modern shipwank XD

[(Anonymous)]

It would be fascinating to learn more about antique shipping wank from the time before the internet provided a convenient way to have pointless arguments with complete strangers. :D

If you explore the Fanlore site they have TONS of info about all this, both for Kirk/Spock and TOS specifically and the evolution of slash in general. I think many of their contributors actually lived through a lot of what gets described, there are TONS of quotations from (print) fanzines and letterzines (a.k.a. zines that are sort of the equivalent of a mailing list/ community in print form) that aren't on the internet and probably never will be, given the feelings of the elderfen still active in fandom.

And yes, it was NOT convenient at ALL to argue with random strangers. The first official Kirk/Spock story came out in 1974, with a sort of K/S ship manifesto by the same author in 1975. Things got CRAZY after that. It was only worsened buy the utter slashiness of 1979 movie and ESPECIALLY Gene Roddenberry's (the creator of TOS)novelization of it. Things honestly did not get noticeably calmer until the mid 80's. A WHOLE DECADE OF WANK. It boggles my mind :DDDD

[(Anonymous)]

Naruto (Sasuke/Naruto vs Naruto/Sakura vs Sasuke/Sakura vs Naruto/Hinata) and Bleach (Ichigo/Rukia vs Ichigo/Orihime) got pretty crazy.

(And many other anime fandoms too, but the SUPERNOVA heat of the worst of it tends to fade as the anime stops airing and the craziness sort of starts fragmenting.)