[ Anon Meme ]

[case]

F!S Anon Meme (the Seventh, and now on DW!)

Secrets, rants, opinions, anything you want to say about your fandom or a fandom or fandom in general, do it here! Anonymously, of course. Get it all off your chest.

Some ground rules:
1. Going anon is encouraged but not absolutely required (for those who struggle with captchas and stuff).
2. No autoplaying/autolooping embeds, or embeds that cover/stretch the screen.
3. No dropping personal info or IRL contact info, etc.

That's about it, though!

I'll be linking some general/general-fandom threads I see so people don't repost new threads with the same stuff.

Unpopular Ships
Obligatory Masturbation Thread
Fandoms you wish existed
How old are you?
What series have you always meant to watch/read/play/etc. but have never?
Time and location
Female-centric works
How do you feel about Tumblr?
Pet thread
Guilty pleasure thread
Favorite old shows
First fandom?

Comments

memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe they got bored?

I used to stir up so much wank and harass the shit out of people. I know some of them thought I hated them. IDK if you were one of my targets, but here was my view on the people I used to harass the fuck out of:

I've moved on (grew up, less free time, less boredom, just don't give a shit enough to harass people, moved fandoms, changed friendship circles, new targets, new people of interest to poke - take your pick, they all apply)

I tend not to think about past targets at all. Hell, some of them I completely forgot existed until someone reminds me specifically of who they were and what I did. They didn't matter to me then (I was getting kicks) and they don't matter now (I don't care).
There's maybe 2 I idly google once every few years to see if they still annoy me (yes, but others are doing the drama for me now so I can just read without any effort)

The best I can sum up is some mild regret - very mild regret, and it's more that I spent so much time on it when I could have been doing something else. But then the regret fades because I had fun, so it wasn't wasted time.

But mostly I've moved on to other interests. It was like a fun fandom, I enjoyed it, I participated, and after a few years I found something else for my time.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like a pretty terrible person.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you, I try to give that impression.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like you have something seriously wrong with you, mentally speaking. Get it sorted.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

da

I don't know what to think, but the "I don't regret hurting other people, only the wasted time" did sound sociopathic, or at least very low-level empathy.

Just going with what they said -and not being a psychologist or anything- it's impossible to say, but, memoirs of a troll anon, do you feel that, er, indifferent to the suffering of everyone and anyone, or just strangers? Would you care if it was a friend or a family member who got hurt?

Oh, man, I didn't want to think about this, that's why I didn't reply before. :(

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

Memoir troll here.

I doubt I'm sociopathic, I'm very against causing pain to people/animals or even witnessing it. I think the problem here (or the problem was) is that there is a bit of a disconnect between people in real life, people on the other side of the world and "people" on the internet - who are more often than not an icon, some text, some ideas and opinions. They don't register as people-people.

Kind of a subconscious "they're not really people and they said a bunch of things that rubbed against me the wrong way. I think I'll provoke them, cause some wank and then record it all on ED. Maybe I can get them to abandon their account, that's a challenge" - I don't think I've ever pondered the potential emotional damage or longterm effects.

I would care very much if a friend or family member got hurt, don't you worry!

I've thought about it a bit in the past (my lack of regret). Low-level empathy for people online sounds like a good fit. It's certainly harder for me to care about people I've never met. Including celebrities, never understood all the drama for when one dies.

I posted here to let OP know what goes on in my mind at least. Maybe they'll get a better understanding as it was never personal in my case. So there was nothing personally wrong with the OP and I assume it's natural to wonder about big "events/people" that happened in the past.

Or I may have just freaked you and them out. Not really my intention.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

This is a relief to hear, thank you for answering!

If it helps, what you described sounds like "Othering". Unfortunately, all the search results I keep finding talk about gender and similar stuff, but the gist of it is that, without the right cues (like, for example, seeing someone face to face to see expressions of emotion, relating through similar interests or similar past experiences, etc.), people don't register in your mind as people, but, as some sort of "thing" that reacts and has some sort of intelligence.

Like the "text, ideas and opinions" that you described.

Othering happens differently for everyone, so for some people, talking to someone on the internet is enough to relate, for some others isn't -- to some people race is enough of a factor, or gender ("why are girls so mysterious?" is the example in the search results I keep finding), when you mow down other players in online videogames because you just see videogame enemies who yell at you... there are many examples.

A sadder example, born out of trying to preserve their sanity, is the one of soldiers and pilot fighters in wars who only see targets when they're shooting or attacking. If they didn't force themselves through their training to stop thinking "these are people I'm killing", they would have a serious nervous breakdown and stop functioning in battle.

I'm genuinely glad you have been thinking about this (if I understood your comment correctly) - you can only come out a better person when you think a lot about this kind of thing and how it relates to your actions.

Despite the impression you might get in this or other online communities, a lot of people are in the same boat as you, and for one reason or another don't really "personify" the people they're interacting with online.

Re: memoir of a troll

[(Anonymous)]

This is interesting.

You did understand correctly. It's not on my mind 24/7, but I have pondered it on occasion.

I certainly wanted to reassure you and other anon(s) that I've no intention or desire to run out and break laws, especially of the psychopathic kind. Also to point out in my case, so perhaps others, nothing was personal and so there was nothing wrong with OP. Just bad luck and timing to be the focus of attention.

It's interesting to know their may be other people in the same boat. But I'm not too fussed. I find identity crisis and "oh god is there something wrong with me" tiring. Until I realised we're all different on the spectrum and to not be a dickhead - even if I can't empathise with the person. Hah.

Nice chatting with you nonnie