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[ Anon Meme ]

F!S Anon Meme (the Seventh, and now on DW!)

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This is going to seem like the most backward, unrealistic and uneducated question but I've had it bothering me for a long time so I thought I'd ask the masses here anonymously. For anyone who believes or practices any sort of rituals or "love blessings" involving a strand of hair and jewelery, I'd really like to be pointed in the right direction. I have a strand of hair that I've saved in a bottle on a necklace, but I'd like to do something more with it. It's really important to me, and I can't get another one. This is the only chance I have, but it makes me anxious just having it sit there. So for anyone who may have any actual advice, it would do me a lot of good mentally to have a way to step over this mental block that I have because of it. Thanks in advance, I know how nutty this sounds.

Here's the best advice you're going to get: Don't.

If you believe that kind of ritual does actually work (and I do believe that ritual/directed energy/call it magic, if you want can have at the very least a strong placebo effect), then what you're asking is for people to help you interfere with someone's free will. And that is not okay, no matter how you accomplish it.

I'm not saying that it's not okay because it violates some pagan law or karma or whatever. I'm saying it's a shitty and hurtful thing to do, or even think about doing or want to do.

Free will don't exist brah.

We live in a deterministic universe yo.

(and I do believe that ritual/directed energy/call it magic, if you want can have at the very least a strong placebo effect)

*crazy hat on*

So maybe this is the best place I can say this: There's someone I'm desperate to keep in my life. He's only on the periphreal of it right now, and I think due to the job situation he might slip away. I believe he's mildly attracted to me, but not enough to ever do anything about it. So I've lately been lighting two matches at the same time on the same strike, staring into the shared flame and chanting to myself "love me, want me, we'll be together [his name]."

I don't actually think this will have any kind of effect, not really, but there's a small part of me (the part that's not batshit insane) that wonders if it might work. I know about the threefold law, I know these things never work out, but...what if it does?

I'm playing with his free will, I know this, but I just can't help myself.

ask

"if this is the best for both of us (say your name and his), then let it happen in the most perfect way possible, without hurting anyone nor disrupting anyone or anything"

THERE BAM YOU COVERED ALL YOUR BASES

Thank you. This actually helps.

I've always felt reasonably comfortable leaving things up to the universe and trusting that things work out how they are supposed to, no matter how painful the outcome, so I'll doing the asking thing.

Thanks again.

anon you replied to

you're welcome!

I used to ask/wish for very specific things and kept getting disappointed and frustrated, so I got tired of that and just "left it up to them", so to speak, and I noticed that once I stopped wishing for a specific solution, things sort of solved themselves in ways that I never expected but that hurt no one, so now I stick to petitions of that sort :D

also, if you wish for a specific material object, ask for "(description of the object), if it's the best for me, OR its perfect equivalent, in the most perfect way possible, without hurting anyone nor disrupting anyone or anything"

because sometimes it turns out that a different but similar object than what you wanted was actually perfect for your needs

and if you want something like, IDK, a house, or something, again, ask for the house that will be perfect for you, in the most perfect way possible, without hurting anyone nor disrupting anyone or anything

specifying that you want things to work out without hurting or disrupting things or people is important, because these things tend to make their way towards you through all sorts of weird coincidences and serendipity like shenanigans, and you don't want someone to wind up losing a good opportunity or getting hurt over it

It never occured to me to specify that what I want shouldn't hurt anyone.

See, he transferred to a building close by, still with the same company, but there wasn't any day-to-day contact anymore and I felt very despairing. I think I wished nearly every day for almost three years for him to come back over to my building, and I kind of trusted the universe that he would eventually. I didn't have a doubt.

Well, he did, a few months ago, but his career kind of went through a very rough patch beforehand. It was through a very set of serendipitous and odd circumstances that he lost a promotion, gained it back and then landed back in our building. He went through some angst over this, and took a temporary financial hit. I was gobsmacked that I'd actually gotten what I wished for for so long. But as funny as it sounds? I never thought for a second all that happened BECAUSE I wished it so. Or that his troubles were because I hadn't specified anything in a non-harmful way.

This thread has really, really helped me understand some things. Thank you guys. *hugs*

Yeah, I notice that not many sources warn about how you could end up hurting someone if you don't specify, even if that's not your intention at all.

It surprises me, because I'm pretty sure that most people wish for things without intending to cause any harm.

Wishes, words, actions and thoughts (especially when coupled with ritualistic actions) are very powerful things.

If it helps you feel better, causing harm unknowingly, while it does have consequences (as in, karma), doesn't hit back as hard as it would if you had wished harm consciously and intentionally.

And these are things that you can do to make up for it, maybe (unfortunately) not always to the same person who was affected, but wishing others the best, trying to be a good person and help others when you can, it all counts.

If this is weighing on your mind, you can ask for an opportunity to make it up to him (again, with the whole specifying no harm or interfering, etc.), or, and this is the route I would go, you can wish for him to get the kind of help he needs the most (it's better if you don't specify here something like "for him to get a better job", etc., but rather leave it just as "the help he needs the most", because it might turn out that he needssomething completely different for his life to get awesome; we never know vOv), for him to receive it without causing harm to anyone, without disrupting anyone, without taking away merits or triumphs from him or anybody, and for it to count as compensation for whatever harm you may have caused him.

I know I've hurt people in the past that I'm no longer in contact with and making it up to them in person could get complicated, so I've wished for them to receive whatever help they might need (because I honestly don't know what kind of situation they might be in and what they might truly need) and I'm pretty sure that counts too.

I'm glad this has helped you! *hugs*

*without disrupting anyone or anything

If you want to keep him in your life, try talking to him like a normal human being. If you love him, have the decency to treat him like a human being and not some object you can control by questionable means.

Honestly if you're OK with messing with his free will, like your last line says, you don't actually care about this guy. You *can* help yourself, you're choosing to do something really unethical, and I'm hoping that you're just too immature to realize what you're actually saying here (hint: it's nothing good). I know I'm being a bitch here, but I've seen what this shit does to people and it's not pretty.

Get rid of that hair - it's creepy that you have it *at all*, let alone what you're planning on working a spell with it.

Well, I'm not the OP, so I don't have hair or anything. It's going to sound funny, given what I've confessed, but that feels like stepping over a line, keeping something of his.

And I get why you are being harsh. But it's just striking two matches at the same time and reciting some words. Given that I don't truly think it'll work (and maybe I just do it to make myself think I have more control over things than I actually do), it can't really work, right?

This. Seriously. "Love blessing" is pretty vague but anything with "love" pings my warning radar. "Blessing" as in "wishing the other person good fortune/happiness" is fine. A "love spell", meaning influencing the other person's emotions or actions - how people usually mean love spells - is bad. That's trying to force something on another person, which is assault at best and rape at worst.

I meant to project my love and let it go, not entrap someone. That would be impossible now.

Perhaps something like "Goddess [or whichever diety/ies you prefer], help me to process my emotions in a healty way. If it will not be harmful to either of us, help me to let go of these feelings."

Sort of in the same vein as anon above was talking about, only for letting go. I'll agree with everyone else, don't do anything that might be a coersion of his emotions/free will/what have you. Just ask for what you need - focussing on you and not him.

You could, however, try doing a spell to gain the confidence to talk to him, if that's part of the problem?

I suggest that being friendly, dropping hints, doing them kind favors, taking someone out on a date and generally romancing the hell out of thme is a better and more effective way to help your situation.

I need more details about your situation. Are you trying to get over this person and move on with your life? Or do you want this person to be in your life in a more romantic way? You're leaving things a little too vague for me to be of any help right now.

...Dude, so creepy.

Have you considered burning it as a way to get rid of the anxiety it's causing you?

at risk of being called crazy for believing in this stuff: don't do it

that kind of thing will backfire on you later, multiplied and where it hurts you the most, because you're interfering with someone's free will

if it's someone you genuinely love, even if they don't return your affections, just wish them the best and move on with your life

IT'S NOT WORTH IT

You need to be more specific - "love blessing" is really vague. What do you want the ritual to do?

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[ Anon Meme ]

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all no caps was giving me a headache

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