fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2046 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So at my work recently I had a customer give me their cell phone number and ask me if I'd like to go out on a date (which is really weird for me because I'm not very pretty or skinny or anything like that). So the problem is, I have social anxiety issues and I get uncomfortable talking to people I don't know well, plus I don't really like talking on the phone. I also don't really feel like I'd have much in common with this guy and I'm just in general not interested (I also identify as asexual and live in a rather conservative area where I feel like telling someone that is going to make them think I'm lying or weird). The problem is, this guy comes in fairly often and now I don't know how to interact with him without feeling terrible and awkward. I told him I'd 'think about it,' but nothing else. I don't really know what to say if he comes in again and brings it up. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Just tell him you're not interested.

That sounds like an awkward situation to be in anon. :/ I can understand your uncertainty.

What the above anon said is probably true; just saying you aren't interested is probably the best approach. If I were in your situation I would be tempted to tell him "I'm not looking for a relationship right now", but some people might take that as 'but you can keep coming in and asking "You ready now?" so...maybe that's not a smart choice of words. (And you might not like lying either, so, again - not a good choice.)

Being upfront is better, I think.

Can you try saying 'While I'm flattered you're interested in me, I'm afraid that I'm just not at a point in my life where I'm open to being in a relationship, and I can't see that changing in the near future.'?

You're not being rude, and you're letting him know that you aren't interested - and not likely to change you're mind any time soon. I don't know how well that would work, but it could be worth a shot? Either way, I'd say be honest and let him know that you're not interested.

I've had a lot of luck with, "I'm sorry, I don't date." If he asks why, say "personal reasons". That's all anyone is obligated to tell a complete stranger.

I like this!

[ SECRET POST #2046 ]

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