[ SECRET POST #2046 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - spam secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

You're welcome!

I think that this hits home emotionally with a lot of people and that's what causes very, er, passionate responses.

And please don't take this the wrong way, as I realize now through your comments that this is not at all your position, but some of the things you said resemble arguments that real predators and, sadly, their defenders, have said to justify their abuse of persons (in particular children and very young teenagers, but definitely not limited to those age ranges) who were in a very vulnerable position, which is another reason that people reacted this way in the thread.

There is also a very ugly culture of victim-blaming, and those arguments pop up there too ("she wanted it, or else she wouldn't have dressed like that/walked through that street/kissed him/flirted with him/ etc.), and I think people were reacting to that too.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks, and I do agree with most of what you've said, but I do think there is a difference between the rapist saying 'oh, they wanted it' and the would-be victim saying "I chose this". I mean, if I am the supposed victim, shouldn't my voice and my opinion matter? If I am the one they are trying to protect, shouldn't they listen to my input and feelings rather than silencing me?

Thanks again for the great response, I will try to watch the way I frame my arguments in the future.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Of course your opinion should matter! I think many people think that you wouldn't know what you want, or that you were threatened or scared into lying and saying you consented, so maybe that's a fear lurking in the back of their minds whenever they hear that as a response from someone they expect to be a victim. Like, they're expecting the worst case scenario and that colors their opinion as they read your comments.

It's also very hard to tell over the internet, where we can't see your face and body language to see that you're calm and assertive about your words and not indecisive or maybe over-defensive like one would expect in a worst case scenario.

I'm glad to know that things worked out for you irl. Please don't get discouraged by this thread, this is a very tricky subject to discuss even in the best of moods, and there are always fears and subjective past experiences and opinions getting all mixed up into one sticky mess.

Thanks again for the great response, I will try to watch the way I frame my arguments in the future.

You're welcome, and if it helps, I've caused all sorts of... similarly explosive arguments in the past because I didn't realized that what I said could be understood in a different way than I intended. Both in real life and on the internet! It happens. It sometimes takes a lot of trial and error to figure out how to word things in different places and still get your point across.

[(Anonymous)]

No problem, I think we had a pretty good discussion.

I'm not that discouraged, if every response was just screaming at me rather than addressing my points, maybe; but on the contrary a good chunk of my discussion with people was very intelligent, rational, and open-minded.
So thank you very much for contributing to the discussion.