[ SECRET POST #2046 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - spam secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[darkmanifest]

Listen, I'm a sex-positive feminist myself, but if I find out a thirteen-year-old is sleeping with a thirty-year-old, I am not going to give them both high-fives, I am calling the kid's parents or the cops or the Avengers or somebody. There is a line, and it is not definitive across all cases ever, but it does exist, people do cross it, and it is not sex-negative to recognize this.

[anonymouslyyours]

Yes. This. Dear God.

/Will you pass me that number for the Avengers if I promise to only use it in emergencies and don't define emergencies as "There's something happening in my pants"?

[darkmanifest]

Totally! I have to warn you, though, should you slip, that it's the Hulk they send to investigate all pants-related emergencies. And by "investigate", I mean "punch through the wall".

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, but I'm not 13, and my boyfriend is not 30, and my mom knew about my feelings for my current bf before I even told him and supports me and my relationship, for one.

I do recognize this, and in fact I agree with you, my issue is with people saying any and relationship with a teen and an adult is always rape. No exceptions. As you can see in the threads above, a few anons on here share this reasoning. I am NOT arguing that all relationships between teens and adults and healthy and dandy. I am saying that there are healthy ones, not all, but some.

I do find it kind of insulting that people are trying to tell/convince me that I've been raped. When they don't know me, my partner, my situation, or even my age. All they know is that I'm a teenager with an older guy, and they are making all these unfair assumptions about me and my life. If I'm happy, and we're harming no one, why cause us grief?

Basically, what I was trying to say is, don't brush every teen/adult relationship with the same brush. Some are unhealthy and exploitative, others (like mine) are rather normal.

[darkmanifest]

I understand all of that. And you're right, it's not always nonconsensual or involves a huge power difference, and absolutely no one should be insisting you're being attacked if you're not uncertain about the matter and your parents are aware. But do you understand how dangerous those gray spaces can be? Figuring out the difference between a teenager who is in control, as you seem to be, and a teenager who is being exploited is very difficult and much more harmful if someone allows a teen to stay with an adult who is abusing their power than if they tell said adult "hands off until the kid's eighteen". That's it - not cutting off all contact entirely, not reporting it to the cops, just asking the adult party to back off for a couple of years. I want to know why the adults in these relationships can't just to do that. It seems like a reasonable concession to me.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with you! If the adult in question truly cares about the teen, they can wait a year or two. I know it can be hard to suppress your feelings when you're pining for someone, but it the long run, it's much better to have the adults hold back for a few years and protect lots of other teens from being exploited.
I am totally for (reasonable) age of consent laws. I do think that some reform is needed sometimes because a lot of age of consent laws are biased in a sexist and hetero-normative nature (ie. for example in some places age of consent only applies to older man/teen girl, older man/teen male; and older woman/teen male, and older women/teen female are ignored). That being said, I would never argue to get rid of them completely. I just want reform where it's needed.

Aside for the unfair age of consent laws, my main issues is with the societal stigmas, and unfair assumptions made toward teen/adult relationships, even when they are legal (where I live, I am in a legal relationship due to the fact I have parental consent). My main issues are:
a) double-standards; people who accept adult female/teen female or adult female/teen male and shame adult male/teen male or adult male/teen female.
b) people who cry "pedophilia", even though both parties are sexually mature- I feel this trivializes real pedophilia
c) people who tell me I've been raped and that I'm victim when I'm not, and try to silence my voice and my agency- it's clear that they care more about forwarding their own agenda and beliefs, than the 'victim', since they can't even be bothered to listen to what I have to say

Thanks for the great response. I really appreciate your input.

[darkmanifest]

I completely agree with reform where needed, especially in regards to double standards and senseless witch hunts. Teenagers are not the same as children and also not the same as adults, they shouldn't be shoved into either category because it's easier than addressing the unique nature of their issues. Thank you for your perspective!

[(Anonymous)]

That's exactly it really. Admittedly, any times I have exclaimed that "I'm an adult", but rather I was trying to say, now that I think of it, is that I'm not child.
It's been a great discussion, that thanks again.