fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2047 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2047 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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[Penn & Teller]

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[Twilight]

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08.

[Prometheus]

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[Rainbow; the Boondocks]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

12. [SPOILERS for walking dead]

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13. [SPOILERS for portal 2]

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14. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF/game of thrones]

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15. [SPOILERS for the dark knight rises]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

16. [WARNING for abuse]

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17. [WARNING for rape]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ], [ 1 - insulting the readers doesn't help ], [ 1 - come on, a LITTLE effort ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I totally just wrote a stupid and terrible fic based on this secret.

I don't see it.

I'm proofreading again (and again and again)! I've never posted a fic before and I'm nervous!

Thor awoke next to a beautiful, yet oddly plastic, blonde. He didn't recall going to bed with a woman, but all that meant was that he must have had a really good time. He stretched out in the- frankly, uncomfortable- bed and leaned over to kiss his bedmate. His chaste kiss on her strangely smooth cheek was met with silence. Curious, Thor sat up to get a better look at the woman. And, then, he realized what she was.

He started back in surprise and then flopped painfully to the floor. She was a doll! A plastic Midgardian doll!

Fully awake and slightly startled, Thor's head began to clear. As he took in his surroundings, he realized that the room was open to the outside, like the house had been half built. He stepped to the edge of the floor to get a better look at the outside. Outside wasn't outside at all, but just a larger bedroom!

"LOKI!" Thor yelled for trickster brother. "Loki, why have you done this!? You have made me the size of a doll! Restore me, brother!"

But, his brother did not answer. Instead, the door of the outside bedroom opened and a young Midgardian woman entered. She was holding plastic bag. She stuck her hand in the bag and pulled out a large handful of something that looked like those salty, twisted dry breads that Midgardians liked to eat with their beer. Pretzels. She slovenly shoved the handful in her mouth and started crunching.

"Uhmmph, mmm. Muh tuh 's 'wake," said the girl through her mouthful of food.

As she stepped up to dollhouse, Thor scrambled back and tried in vain to open the small door. But, it was only painted on. The girl reached her large hand in and clasped it around him fully, so that only his head was exposed. "Oh," lamented Thor, "if only I had thought to call for Mjölnir sooner!"

But, it was too late for that. Thor could feel her crushing the breath out of him with her strong grip.

Thor's head was chin level with the girl. He could see he still chewing.

She opened her mouth and said "Uh'pen wide!"

Then, she spit the chewed food all over him. Thor sputtered and gagged. His hair and face was covered in chunks of brown-beige sludge.

"Aw," she cooed. "You were supposed to open up your mouth like a baby bird. Now, say 'Cheep Cheep' and we'll try again."

"NEVER!" Yelled Thor, infuriated. "I'll never allow this humiliation!"

"Well, you'll get hungry sooner or later." She squeezed Thor tighter and stuck another handful of pretzels in her mouth.

Thor closed his eyes and mouth tightly and braced himself.

Oh God, this is beautiful and scary and I love it and am horrified all at once. I FEEL SO CONFLICTED.
*scurries off to reread*

Oh, wow! Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

Genre: Horror O__O

LMAO! Sorry! Obviously I have issues.

I thought I was going to read something about Loki abandoning Thor in a bird's nest so he could get a turn to feel like a cuckoo or something. What did I just read. Who is this little girl whose reaction to a living doll is to force it to eat masticated pretzels? I think I just got an uncomfortable glimpse into what you were like as a child. :O

I don't really have anything to say to this. *impressed*

Ha ha. I was going to disagree and say no, I was a good girl. But, then I remembered what I did with my Barbies and GI Joes. So, yeah. Issues, man.

(This is also what happens when you've seen, like, all of the Twilight Zone episodes. Multiple times. It doesn't matter who the girl is, or why. It just is.)

My mother used to talk about my stuffed animals like they were real and had personalities and were hurt if I threw them on the ground or ignored them. I never got up to the kind of fun other kids did with their toys as I was worried I would hurt them if I cut their hair or stitched new clothes on them. I still suspiciously side-eye stuffed animals. :(

I didn't feel that way about Barbies, during the short period of time I was allowed to have them, I used to perform surgeries on them, amputate and transplant their limbs onto each other. I also used to scarify them. I had a GI Joe for a week until my parent's found it. He put my Barbies through boot camp and I used to use my crayons to give them camo.

I love Twilight Zone!

OP of the secret here. I love you so, so much! I had no idea my lulzy secret would garner a fic for it. Oh Jesus this is amazing and just slightly terrifying. Thank you so much for the laugh!

Heh, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your lulzy secret just struck me the right (wrong?) way, I guess.

Late to the party but this is hilarious. And I imagined it all in black and white, ala Twilight Zone. I love that this is your first posted fic. Congrats! :D

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

[ SECRET POST #2047 ]

Re: obvious troll/a little effort

Re: obvious troll/a little effort

Re: obvious troll/a little effort

Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret

Re: Cheep Tricks: A fic for the OP of the obvious troll secret