I can see where you're coming from in finding the labels irritating but there's a reason why they've caught on so much. They're tools people use to explore their feelings for others and relate to people more easily. They're a lot more personally tailored than labels like 'bisexual' or 'pansexual'.

While I'm not quick to describe myself as aromantic, finding that community was an incredible relief. Feeling socially defunct for not being attracted to people in a romantic way is common so it's amazing to find a whole group of people who feel the same way. The thing is, it wouldn't be possible without a simple word to connect those people. Once you have a tangible word you can understand and apply to yourself, getting to grips with how you feel about other people just becomes so much easier. Relief is the only way to describe it. What seems like out of control name-picking is more or less people trying to find more and more common ground and understand themselves better using self-explanatory labels.

Good luck trying to find better ace fic too - I'd really love to see that well handled some day.