fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2054 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2054 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Tracy Beaker Returns/The Dumping Ground]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

23. [SPOILERS for Usagi Drop]

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24. [SPOILERS for Legend of Korra]

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25. [SPOILERS for XXXholic]

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26. [SPOILERS for Revenge]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

27. [WARNING for abuse and rape]

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[American Horror Story]

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[Sons of Anarchy]

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[08th MS Team]

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34. [WARNING for suicide]

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[American Psycho]

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[Chrono Crusade]

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37. [WARNING for underage]

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38. [WARNING for bullying/abuse]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #293.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I hate so much that being white, heterosexual, middle-class, cis automatically means my opinions or feelings or political positions are completely invalid, sometimes even if I agree with whoever isn't. The people who scream for tolerance are the most intolerate people I've ever seen.

This.

The people who scream for tolerance are the most intolerate people I've ever seen.

Agreed - and it is something that I will never understand.

In what special universe are your opinions, feelings and political opinions being completely disregarded as an extremely privileged person? That would be so horrible! I'm sorry, but you're going to need to link us for that extraordinary claim. You don't get to ignore less privileged people by making out they're mean and deranged, but nice try, albeit extremely unoriginal.

nayrt
stupidass, they were saying that on occasions WHEN THE THINGS THEYT HAVE TO SAY ARE IN AGREEANCE WITH MINORITIES, that they're being told "shut up." Because making sure that people with power and privilege don't ever talk about the fact that others DON'T have those things is the best way to get ahead.

I'm going to try to explain to you why it's annoying when allies bring the focus back on them all the time, and I hope it makes sense because I'm honestly sick of seeing it happen and I really do wish more of them would realize they're doing it.

Okay. Let's use feminism for an example (note that I have no idea whether you're a man or a woman or what your thoughts on feminism are, I'm just using it as an example that can be applied to most cases of allies vs minority). You know what sucks? When the stuff men say about feminism gets more attention than what women say. And it happens all the time. I don't really have the time to look up links to specific incidents, but quite frequently men are congratulated and looked up to and just, in general, made into a big deal when they talk about feminism. See, for example, the whole "this is what a feminist looks like" poetry slams and shirts and stuff.

It's good in one way, because it's great that men are caring about feminism. But in another way it's really really annoying that men get so much positive attention whenever they talk about feminism, whereas there's still that widespread stereotype that women who are feminists are just ugly 'bitches' that hate men, or whatever. Women can say things a hundred times and no one listens, but as soon as a man says it, people start seeming to think they might have a point. It sucks.

So sometimes, it's nice to have spaces where male allies aren't given so much uber-respect and attention just for having the decency to care about feminism.

And this can be applied to everything - allies mean well, but often they end up making themselves and their good intentions the centre of attention, rather than the minorities who are affected. On the one hand, yay they want to do good. On the other hand... fuck it's annoying.

♥♥♥

your opinion is validated and upheld more than the minority groups you're claiming are attacking you in virtually every other place in the world other than one small subsection of the internet so no, I don't feel too badly when you're told to be quiet

There's a difference between not showering someone with respect and positivity for having a decent opinion, and telling them to stfu.

If a man has a good opinion about feminism, I'm not going to tell him to shut up just because he's a man. I'll think "that's cool" and move on. I'm not going to put him on a pedestal because he's a man, but I won't shut him down completely either. I think it's just fucking shitty to do that.

Though I get your point on the one hand, and it has actually enlightened me in a way that I now understand better some of the reactions I get when involved in similar situations, what you're saying has the unfortunate effect of privileged (or in my case seemingly privileged, long story) people not saying anything in fear of being disrespectful, stealing the limelight and so on.
On the (rare) occasions that I've been involved in discussions between privileged people and non-privileged people I've tried to let them see both sides of the argument. In the case of the privileged people it actually worked, they understood the other side a bit more. In the case of the non-privileged people it backfired spectacularly in a 'You've got no idea what you're talking about!' way, when actually, I do because I've been on both sides. Even if I didn't know what I was talking about, having other people get a better understanding of your situation one way or the other is a good thing. Right?
Sometimes I get the idea that some people have been in the misunderstood minority for so long they've got a hard time handling other people understanding them and on a subconscious level maybe even prefer being in their own corner, fighting their own cause and nobody understanding them.

(Oh, by the way, I get that it's annoying, but I can understand why, to follow your example, those men saying feminist stuff are getting the attention and so on. Looking at it from my experiences described above, a) it's easier for an outsider (privileged people) with an inside view (of non-privileged people) to explain it to outsiders and b) other outsiders will accept those views more readily from a fellow outsider. The last one is a bit sad, but human nature and all that.)

The people who scream for tolerance are the most intolerate people I've ever seen.

Not in my experience. There is a complete selection of intolerant people screaming for... just about anything. There is no shortage of intolerant people. Unfortunately. (Although there are some things which shouldn't be tolerated... no, now I'm getting pedantic, that got me into trouble yesterday, never mind.)

Being intolerant while screaming for tolerance is particularly jarring, but I don't think it's any more common.

[ SECRET POST #2054 ]

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