[ SECRET POST #2059 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2059 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 045 secrets from Secret Submission Post #294.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm, sexual attraction is seeing a person and finding them sexy. You could imagine having sex with them or you get aroused by looking at that person. The thought of sex with that person attracts you.

Libido...not really. It just happens. It's hormones. Like sometimes I get an odd randy feeling. Has nothing to do with actual people and can be taken care of without actually thinking of other people.

I hope that might be clearer?

[stainless]

Not really. For me arousal isn't usually about seeing people, and wanting to have sex with people is about a lot of things: one is libido (if I didn't want sex in general, I'd want something else with that person. Cuddling. Talking. Playing Frisbee. Whatever.) and the other is liking or trusting that person enough to want to be intimate with them.

What you're describing -- seeing someone and wanting to have sex with them -- is something I've only experienced rarely, if at all. Usually there's also something about the person that I like, even if it's just hearing that they share an interest I like or like an activity I enjoy.

(This is probably why I'm usually utterly stumped by people's attractions to/crushes on celebrities. There's nothing about them to like! (Unless you've studied them enough to know about them, I mean.))

But I absolutely wouldn't say I'm asexual. Sex is something I like and want and need, and enjoy with people I'm dating, and wouldn't completely rule out with someone I'm not though I'd never expect that to be something I'd do.

So I'm not sure what either "asexual" or "sexual" would mean based on that definition, really. Where if "asexual" means "isn't interested in sex," that does make sense to me -- it's someone who doesn't like or usually want or much care about something I like.

[(Anonymous)]

I guess that's a good way to put it too though! I have a libido, but really I'm be fine with never actually having sex. It's not something I want or need.

Of course, I could be wrong about sexual attraction, I've never really felt anything sexual towards anything so I was mostly going by other's definitions of what sexual attraction was.

[stainless]

Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

I'll admit to getting really confused when people start talking "demi" and "gray-a" though.

(NOTA BENE: I am not claiming these things, or the people they describe, do not exist or are not "real.")

[(Anonymous)]

Demis are essentially asexual until they form a strong emotional bond with someone (romantic or non-romantic). They feel no desire for sex until that bond forms.

Grey-A is more difficult because it's basically the spectrum between asexuality and sexuality. I think it's usually either a)people who enjoy and want sex, but only under very specific circumstances
or/and b)have the desire to have sex but not strongly enough to want to actually do it.

You;d have to probably look up some Grey-A's or demis to find out more, since I am not one and only know what I've heard in the community.