fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2068 ]

[ SECRET POST #2068 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2068 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Tiger & Bunny]

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02.

[Queer as Folk USA]

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03.

[Devil May Cry]

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04.

[The Key of Awesome! Maroon 5 Payphone Parody: Game of Thrones]

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05.

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06.

[Lorraine Star]

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07. http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d194/throwme2thedogs/fablesecret.jpg
[linked for illustrated nudity/porn; Fable]

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08.

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09.

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10.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

11. [SPOILERS for Kamen Rider Fourze]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

12. [WARNING for sexual assault]

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13. [titc #2]

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14. [WARNING for rape, violence]

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15. [WARNING for eating disorders]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #295.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 (warning for abuse) - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 (warning for child abuse) - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I'm doing it right now, out of intellectual curiosity. I'm actually Jewish but I'm reading the NIV, which includes new testament. My mom always says that western civilization is built on the Judeo-Christian Bible, Greek Myth, and Roman Law, so any educated person should have a working knowledge of all three. I went through my Greek History phase when I was about ten, and Roman law isn't quite organized to a few sources, is it? So right now I'm tackling the Bible. If I ever get through it I think I'm gonna go at The Talmud next.

I read two portions a day and right now I'm on Chronicles. The last few days have been very boring genealogical records. This part also seems to be about recapping Kings, but that was pretty interesting, so we'll see...

I tried but it was so damned boring and illogical I stopped pretty shortly into it.

I was reading a blog that was by a woman who decided to do this. It was pretty hilarious. I've lost the link but I'll try and track it down.

I tried to but it's kinda... inconsistent? and boring. I mostly just try to know about the parts that matter, aka the ones you can use to defend yourself against ignorant christians that don't read their bible.

I always enjoy being able to say "I'm not even Christian and I know that!"

Yeah, but very often people (Christian or not) quote their little pet verse that they memorised, and they don't have a clue what the surrounding context was. And it often makes an enormous difference: most of the Bible is not like the Book of Proverbs.

For instance, the often-quoted verse about longing for her lovers whose genitals were like those of donkeys? In context it's actually more shocking and more funny, because it's part of a long and unforgettable rant from Ezekiel about Jerusalem and Samaria being sluts who long for the Johns they used to service as prostitutes in Egypt! It is graphic and memorable, which is how it was intended, and it is also explained (more than once) right where it is written. It is hardly some obscure parable. It goes on about their "virgin nipples" being fondled!

Nah, not cover to cover. Some parts are just way too boring. I have been in the habit of flipping through it and reading chapters here and there for quite a long time now though, and I like the writing and the worldbuilding, although I'm sure it's 85% made-up or wildly twisted and exaggerated. And once you get past all the wtfery and values dissonance, it's got some great little nuggets. Oddly enough, I actually really like the "boring" genealogical stuff — I know it's the drum solo of the bible, but I've always had a huge thing for family trees and shit to the point where I get insanely excited whenever I see one or when I see ancestry being recounted, even if the family in question is really boring.

Revelation is my fave, btw. Great imagery. And the Gospels are pretty great, even though they come off like four comic-book writers being passive-aggressively nitpicky towards each other about the canon for their favorite character.

<3 I love your description of the Bible in fandom terms. A+

"drum solo of the bible" lol

For most people it's the part where the singer pulls out his acoustic guitar and everyone goes out for a cigarette. And doesn't come back.

Re: Have You Ever Read The Bible Cover to Cover?

intrigueing - 2012-09-01 01:45 (UTC) - Expand

I really love this way of putting it, haha. And yeah, Revelations is pretty awesome.

Re: Have You Ever Read The Bible Cover to Cover?

intrigueing - 2012-09-01 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

I tried because of how heavily the literary canon references the thing, but it's just so shit that I gave up.

Good luck though anon.

I've read some parts. Genesis, Leviticus and Corinthians, mainly. They're...erm... interesting, to say the least.

Once when I was twelve. I stopped because I was twelve and had a short attention span.

When I was like 10 or 11. I can't remember if I actually read it all or if I skipped some books.

It was my goal to finish it before college; now it is my goal to finish it before I die!

Idk why I just noticed this, but your user name is so cute!

Re: Have You Ever Read The Bible Cover to Cover?

kryptoncat - 2012-09-01 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

I wonder if I'm one of the few people who's never read the Bible? I remember people being really surprised in my first year university history class that I didn't know what the Book of Genesis was. I've always wanted to read through it though.

Not cover to cover, nope. Damn thing is too long! (Sorry, Jesus.)

And yea...I do find the majority boring or wtf-worthy too, so I doubt it's ever going to happen.

I've read a lot of the Bible but not all of it. Frankly a lot of the Old Testament seems... non-essential, to say the least. But I'm well familiar with the New Testament and with the heavy hitters from the Old Testament.

I agree that it is an extraordinarily important foundation for Western culture (as, by extension, is Christian thought) (and Jewish as well) (and Islamic too, for that matter, but that's not as relevant). I would suggest if you have time reading some of the highlights of Christian thought - for instance Augustine's Confessions which is pretty amazing imo.

Re: Have You Ever Read The Bible Cover to Cover?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-04 01:53 (UTC) - Expand

I haven't, but probably should do that.

If it helps - the different books of the bible were written for different purposes. So you have poetry/music (Psalms), romance (Song of Songs), trippy allegory stuff (Revelations) etcetera. Some of them were for writing down laws and codes of behaviour, others were for recording the history of the Israelites.

I tend to skip the lists of names, though.

Re: Have You Ever Read The Bible Cover to Cover?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-01 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

Tried to when i was a kid and it was so damn boring i soon gave up.

Ah, that's true about how much of Western civilization references the Bible, Greek myth, and Roman law. There's so many ideas, phrases, and metaphors I don't have to look up when I encounter them because I grew up with it, but are probably puzzling for anyone who wasn't.

I've read large parts of the Bible whenever I have to research a point or a concept (Genesis is a favorite), but never the whole thing at once. It took too much concentration for me to take apart the "thee" and "thou" language of the KJV while following the pretty tedious stories at the same time. The NIV would probably be easier, but I have an irrational aversion to it thanks to being raised on the KJV.

I wanna do it! Right now, actually! *looks for the one I got for my Confirmation*

I blame the show The Naked Archeologist, mostly.

NIV is a decent-enough choice given your motives, but you should probably know that it is a translation that specifically caters to a particular Calvinist view which becomes significant in some places in the New Testament. Not that you shouldn't be using it given your goal, but just a bias to be aware of (so you know it doesn't always record what the majority of Christians would understand a passage to say). Also, depending on the edition, it probably uses gender-neutral language even in places where the Hebrew and Greek are deliberately gendered, and is unlikely to footnote which "you"s are plural and which are singular. Just something to be aware of if you hit a puzzling passage, particularly in the more philosophical books.

Also, if you can get a version of the Deuterocanonical books to read, you'd probably enjoy them (generally more adventures and sayings than genealogies). It puzzles me why Judith wouldn't feature in the Hebrew canon, or why a Christian would want to exclude Wisdom from theirs.

Nope. I've read good chunks of it for school, but it's just too boring for me to read the entire thing. I have a personal policy that says I'm allowed to stop reading any book I find boring. ^^;

Several times, in several different translations, over many years.

You won't get the sense that "most of western civilization is built" on the NIV (which is a horrible, and horribly-biased translation, BTW)...there are claims (I'm not sure if they're true or just wish-fulfillment on the part of the NKJV-onlyers) that "most of western civilization is built" on the King James Version Bible. Slightly more accessible than the Shakespearean English of the KJV is the NKJV or the Modern KJV, or Authorised Standard Version.

My personal recommendation / preference is to read the JPS Study Bible, then follow it up with the "new testament" (a phrase I detest) in the Geneva BIble, as those are the two translations that come as close to the original texts in English as we're ever likely to get, and both are reasonably free of any political agenda.

The Chronicles do get interesting, in places, but it's obvious why one of the kings (which one I forget and am too lazy to look it up ha ha -- Saul? David?) chose to have those scrolls (and 1 & 2 Kings) read to them when they couldn't sleep!

Enjoy!

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