[ SECRET POST #2071 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2071 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Important: I'm really sorry about this, but I accidentally misclicked and deleted the submission post from last week instead of saving it. Managed to save the first page (25) of secrets, but the rest (about 100 or so) are gone.

If you submitted something last week (Aug 26-Sept 1), please resubmit it here.

The submissions post for next week is below as usual.

Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #296.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I have a friend like that too. :\ She has a number of health issues (physical & mental), and while I certainly don't think she should just ~suck it up~ or get over it or anything, it's literally all she talks about. She's very sheltered and is basically obsessed with herself and her problems--and those problems are totally valid and I don't at all claim to understand what it's like to be in her position, but it's hard to talk to her about anything else because of that. I guess I don't really have a good answer either; it's really hard when someone doesn't even respond to reasonable, respectful comments/attempts to help. Sigh.

[lunabee34]

This is exactly my experience with the person I'm talking about. You want to console and be helpful because the problems are genuine, but sometimes I get the sense that my person would rather wallow and be upset than do anything to change the part of her circumstances that could be changed.

[biohazardgirl]

Idk it's online though. People are different online than they are in person. I talk about and rant about stuff on tumblr etc. I would never talk about or rant about in real life, not because I care if anyone sees it but because it's just a good space to shout into a void. Sometimes that's the only outlet a person has.

[lunabee34]

That makes sense. I can see using it as an outlet like that.

The way the person I'm talking about does it, though, almost seems like a constant call for people to write her something, rec her something, *do* something for her to make her feel better, and it just sits wrong with me somehow, if that makes any sense.

[elaminator]

I don't think the OP's case is quite the same thing though? Imo it's completely understandable to rant about stuff online on your journal (tumblr, etc), because like you said, some people don't have any other outlets. Ranting is normal. But if I'm understanding OP correctly, this person turns everything into a negative. So it doesn't sound like it's just a rant now and then, it's a constant, 'can't talk about anything without poisoning it with negativity' thing.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes I think a good "Suck it up" can really help. I have a mood disorder and sometimes I end up just wallowing in self pity until someone reminds me that my life isn't that bad.

So yeah, while suck it up isN't a good idea many times sometimes it is because it can be hard to get another perspective.

[(Anonymous)]

That... really depends on the person. I don't respond well to "suck it up", it just tends to make me angry at that person and angrier at myself. Anger at myself is one of my main issues and makes me wallow even more.

Re: Stupid questions from non-natives (Part Two)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, anyone telling me to suck it up makes me wallow more because I think "I'm a horrible self-pitying lump who should give up and die!" And maybe I am self-pitying sometimes, but people telling me I should just deal doesn't get me out of it.

I'm not saying there's one particular perfect thing you can say to depressed people, because there isn't, and as a depressed person I understand that. But that's an especially risky one.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes I think a good "Suck it up" can really help.

Like the other anon said, that depends on the person. But OP, if you've known this person awhile, have you seen her go through things like this before? Do you know if there were things that helped her in the past that you or others you know could provide? Some people need to be told to get their shit together and deal. Some people need affirmation of any positive step they're taking, even when it's small. Some people need cute animal pictures and fun distractions. If you know that any of those things have helped in the past, maybe you can try them?