fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2071 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2071 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Important: I'm really sorry about this, but I accidentally misclicked and deleted the submission post from last week instead of saving it. Managed to save the first page (25) of secrets, but the rest (about 100 or so) are gone.

If you submitted something last week (Aug 26-Sept 1), please resubmit it here.

The submissions post for next week is below as usual.

Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #296.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, did you know something funny? If a woman is sexy and the camera pays a lot of attention to that, it doesn't magically destroy her character. It's annoying and distracting if it's too gratuitous, but it's actually possible for a character to be awesome in spite of being blatantly sexy. Especially if casting the appearance of sexiness is kind of a big part of how the character operates. Did you know that?

Also, see, I could go back and count how many times all the super-tight, thin clothing allowed the camera to lovingly pan over and lingeringly center a shot on Steve's chest and ass, Thor's arms and entire torso, Clint's arms and ass, and Bruce's completely-naked-except-for-that-one-bit-of-rubble body. And then I could add to that all the lovingly-lit close-ups of Tony's jet-black mustache and hair and huge anime eyes with eyelashes that make me want to go buy better mascara, or Loki striding around in gleaming archaic robes and elegant suits or lying whimpering on the floor. And then I could try and pinpoint all the times I've seen all of the above constantly flexing every muscle in their bodies, standing in the middle of the room with their tree-trunk-sized arms crossed and their thick golden hair cascading around their faces like a Pantene Pro-V commercial, pummeling punching bags in order to let us mentally calculate exactly how hard their glutes are, doing insane acrobatics that show off their bodies from every angle, striding around in long black leather coats, pulling back bowstrings, walking around with their sleeves rolled up and collars undone, getting filthy and sweaty and bloody, being throttled and thrown around, or deciding that human porn isn't enough and what we really need is some shiny badass armor sculpted to one's body.

But I think that would be too tiresome and take way too long. It would take a lot shorter to just try and count the times the camera and costume department decided it would be a crime if it didn't allow viewers to notice that Natasha has a great rack and is really flexible. So forgive me for not being distracted enough by Natasha's admittedly-excellent boobage and killer thighs, when the plot was good enough that I managed to follow it, and the acting was good enough that I managed to sympathize with and love all the male characters, even with every single fucking distracting thing described in the previous paragraphs flying around onscreen.

(P.S. I really, really enjoyed writing these paragraphs, jsyk. In fact, I may have paused and closed my eyes for a few seconds here and there. Okay, several times. And yet I still think all those guys were great characters. Weird huh?)

Also, see, I could go back and count how many times all the super-tight, thin clothing allowed the camera to lovingly pan over and lingeringly center a shot on Steve's chest and ass, Thor's arms and entire torso, Clint's arms and ass, and Bruce's completely-naked-except-for-that-one-bit-of-rubble body. And then I could add to that all the lovingly-lit close-ups of Tony's jet-black mustache and hair and huge anime eyes with eyelashes that make me want to go buy better mascara, or Loki striding around in gleaming archaic robes and elegant suits or lying whimpering on the floor. And then I could try and pinpoint all the times I've seen all of the above constantly flexing every muscle in their bodies, standing in the middle of the room with their tree-trunk-sized arms crossed and their thick golden hair cascading around their faces like a Pantene Pro-V commercial, pummeling punching bags in order to let us mentally calculate exactly how hard their glutes are, doing insane acrobatics that show off their bodies from every angle, striding around in long black leather coats, pulling back bowstrings, walking around with their sleeves rolled up and collars undone, getting filthy and sweaty and bloody, being throttled and thrown around, or deciding that human porn isn't enough and what we really need is some shiny badass armor sculpted to one's body.

....
fucking UNF.
wait a minute for me to wipe my drool up and I might come up with something more coherent

[ SECRET POST #2071 ]

Re: Ugh whatever

Re: Ugh whatever