[ SECRET POST #2074 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2074 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sam Winchester, Young Hercules]


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[La Pucelle: Tactics]


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Notes:

Important: I'm really sorry about this, but I accidentally misclicked and deleted the submission post from last week instead of saving it. Managed to save the first page (25) of secrets, but the rest (about 100 or so) are gone.

If you submitted something last week (Aug 26-Sept 1), please resubmit it here.

The submissions post for next week is below as usual.

Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #296.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[velvet_mace]

Why should the OP be flexible -- because she's the one that wants to change the status quo and that's the one thing that is in her control to do.

Now if she really can't find anything other than her OCs to talk about with these people, you are right it's hopeless. She just needs to find other friends. But standing around on principle waiting for other people to see the light and accomodate you when they haven't a shred of motivation to do so is just going to leave you the way she's been left -- as a lurker. Someone whose presence is pretty much not missed.

Now once she becomes close enough friends with these people, she might be able to get one of them to take an interest in her OCs. But if that's her opening move to make friends, it's more of a turn off than a turn on.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

But standing around on principle waiting for other people to see the light and accomodate you

And where in the secret does OP indicate she's doing that? The only thing the secret indicates is that she is writing by herself and that she feels bad lurking. Not that she's expecting anyone to see how perfect or special her characters are. That would be you projecting your own bias there.

If OP has been in fandom more than a week and hasn't developed much of an interest in anything but her OCs, she's probably not going to. And she shouldn't be faking an interest in anything, because that isn't how you make friends, online or off.

I don't know if you mean to come off this way, but you really are sounding like people who have interests that aren't popular in fandom need to just suck it up and contort themselves to fit in as a first resort, rather than look harder to find friends they can better connect with just as they are. Which is quite frankly silly.

Fandom is something you do for fun. Talking about stuff that bores you just so you have something to talk about with people isn't fun, and any friendships made as a result are going to be shallow, bland, and tiresome at best.

[velvet_mace]

Oh no, the OP isn't doing this. The person I was responding to was suggesting she stand around on principle and wait for people to accomodate her. Which isn't going to happen. Obviously. Or else it would have already.

You know -- that's not true that if she hasn't found anything interesting in a week than she's not likely to. People get into ruts and they have to make a concerted kick to get out of them. The OP is lamenting that her rut is not satisfying. I made a suggestion as to how to get her out of it.

It's not that her interest is unpopular in fandom, it's that her interest is unique to her. IE: her OCs, not OCs in general. And I explained why its so. You can have unpopular interests and still find other people to share them with, but when you get down to something that's unique, you have a much harder sell. It's not a matter of finding people who share your interest, its a matter of coaxing other people to share your interest. And there's a social component that is really frowned on. That's pretty much on the order of not really wanting to talk about anyone's fic but your own -- and yeah, that doesn't go over well either.

But this isn't something that is obvious until it's pointed out: the fact that that instantaneous feeling of love and connection you get to your own creations doesn't transfer to other people. It can be hard to believe that comes so naturally to you -- this excitement -- doesn't come naturally to anyone but you. But that's because a lot of that emotional closeness and interest is not intrinsic to the character but rather to the process of making the character -- something that an audience can't share in. It becomes one of these "you had to have been there" stories that always falls flat.

It's not until the OC has proved itself in the context of a story that other people can begin to make an emotional connection. And even then, you know, until you get good at writing characterization, chances are that OC will just be meh. It's a skill.

[(Anonymous)]

The person I was responding to was suggesting she stand around on principle and wait for people to accommodate her.

Actually, the person you were responding to wasn't doing that, either. If anything, they were suggesting OP find people she has more in common to talk about with from the outset. That's the part you keep missing, it seems. Rather than force yourself to develop interests more people like or worse yet, feign interest in stuff your friends like just for the sake of conversation, anon above me suggested it's more productive to just find better friends.

And no, it's not impossible to connect with an OC just by the author talking about them. I don't create OCs myself, but I have friends with OCs and even though the story isn't written yet, I enjoy brainstorming with them about their characters just because I enjoy world- and character-building in general. That's the kind of community OP needs to find, not change herself to fit in better with fandom friends she really doesn't have a connection to in the first place.

[velvet_mace]

Yes, but tell me, would you enjoy it if that was all you did -- brainstorm about their OCs? And that friend had no interest in any of the projects you liked? No you'd soon start to feel used.

And your friend didn't approach you as a friend by demanding you brainstorm about her OCs either -- you were already friends with her, and you do it in part because you like her company.

I'm not saying that the OP can never discuss her OC's again, she just can't make that be the only thing she wants to talk about, and she has to be ready to accept that other people don't want to brainstorm with her either. It could be that your friend with her OC is better at putting together an interesting character than the OP.

[(Anonymous)]

I met this friend through a writing community, so yes, most of what we talked about at first was brainstorming. That eventually grew into a beyond-writing friendship that I've maintained for almost two years now, but primarily what we still talk about is brainstorming, and yes mostly for their projects. And no, I don't feel used at all because frankly I find their work far more interesting to talk about, but thanks for assuming.