fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2087 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2087 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Leverage]

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03.

[Camelot]

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04.

[Julian from The Trailer Park Boys, Trent Reznor]

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05.

[Three Men and a Baby/Little Lady]

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06.

[Harry Potter]

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07.

[Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (Preston Lodge) / Glee (Sebastian Smythe)]

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08.

[glee, teen wolf]

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09.

[Breaking Bad]

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10.

[Teen Wolf]

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11.

[Teen Wolf]

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12.

[Misfits]

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13.

[The Immortals series]

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14.

[Adventure Time]

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15.

[tom hiddleston & colin morgan]

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16. [SPOILERS for Journey Into Mystery/Everything Burns]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #298.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I keep being told that there are people out there who are like me. I need to find them rather than try to fit in with others.

But what do you do when there doesn't seem to be anyone who is like you? What do you do when the shit you say gets no response? What do you do when you own your interests, and no one who shares them comes forward? What do you do when you go forth and do the things you like but can find no others who are doing them?

I am not magnetic. I am not interesting. I am a geek who can find no fellow geeks. And I'm so, so incredibly upset about this.

I feel you, anon

I feel you so fucking much

+1. Story of my life.

Things fall in and out of popularity all the time. Keep doing your stuff long enough and others will catch on to it as well. You're not weird, you're a trendsetter!

In all seriousness, though? It won't hurt to try to fit in with others; you never know who's hiding what because they feel the same way you do right now.

Honestly I have been there, I feel like my friendships go in cycles, sometimes I have a lot of friends where our personalities really match up nicely but we never have the same interests and don't want to do the same things, and sometimes I have friends who share my interests and we get to go on activities together.

There's really no sure fire way to go about it except for to continue to put yourself out there. I know it sucks to be the lone wolf and not have people to go with to things, but it won't change unless you keep trying.

Also keep in mind some times it's good to have friends that are a little different. I am an awkward introvert who likes nerdy things, but I don't always get along with people who are like me because it's hard to get conversation going with awkward people and it's hard to get them to come out. I'm thankful for my extrovert friends who always want to hang so then I always have a friend when I need one.

Plus interests fade and change, and sometimes you can get your friends into what you're into, just look for solid friendships.

Don't worry about being "not magnetic" either. People may just not realize you're reaching out to them, a lot of people are so busy with their own life that they don't always pay close enough attention.

:(

Part of making friends is learning to compromise and fit in. There may be some people you can completely be yourself with, but you are always going to have to reign yourself in with certain people on certain things.

That's the best advice I can offer. Either you'll click with someone one day or you won't. You can put yourself out there, but you can't expect people to conform to you. Being friends means sharing some things, but not all things. Like I said, compromise.

Learn to enjoy things on your own?

Sounds like you need to learn to adapt to groups. It's not always going to be all about you and your likes, sometimes you have to adapt and do what the group likes. Not saying to fake it but just know it's not going to be all about you. And maybe the shit you say is really weird or not funny and people have no idea what to respond with?

I don't know man. I'd just focus on working on your people skills and learning to read people better, then maybe you'd know better when to make what comments and get the response you need.

I'm a geek who has a really hard time making friends with non-geeks (in fact, I've yet to make even moderately close friends with anyone who's not at least somewhat geeky). However, I've managed to make a decent circle of friends after moving to a city where I knew exactly one person.

The trick for me was joining the RPG club at the college nearby. It gave me an excuse to talk to people for a couple of hours with a purpose, after which point they were no longer terrifying strangers. I made a couple good friends there, and from that point got a social circle.

I've also lately had good luck with meetup.com. Depending on where you live, you might be able to find several groups you've got at least something in common with, and hopefully at least some of them would be people you can be friends with.

Personally, being in a context where people are either openly trying to meet people, or have some specific reason to start talking works a lot better for me than... I don't know, sitting in public reading a comic book and hoping someone's geek-dar pings and they come talk to me.

It can take a while, though. The RPG thing didn't occur to me until after a couple of really lonely terms at grad school, and it took another couple months before I started hanging out with anyone outside of club. But it did work eventually!

While it's nice to find people who share your interests, it's like what's already been said in this thread: you're making it all about you and what you want to talk about. Kind of a one-way friendship or conversation tbh.

And people typically aren't just defined by their hobbies or favourite media. You say you're not interesting, I say you suck at putting anything else forward, so you wear what you think makes you stand out (your geekdom). It's not a bad thing. Just an awkward thing. Those people who tell you you'll find friends, what else do they say or know about you.

[ SECRET POST #2087 ]

And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?

Re: And what if it's just that nobody likes you?