[ SECRET POST #2096 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2096 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04. http://i.imgur.com/KENos.png
[True Blood; sort of porny, illustrated ... choking and spanking or something?]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Koi Kaze; Freefall]


__________________________________________________



06.
[Suits]


__________________________________________________



07.
[A Song of Ice and Fire]


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________











[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]











11. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]



__________________________________________________



12. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]



__________________________________________________



13. [SPOILERS for the Stand]



__________________________________________________



14. [SPOILERS for Teen Wolf]



__________________________________________________



15. [SPOILERS for Shin Megami Tensei IV]



__________________________________________________












[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]













16. [WARNING for self-harm]

[bogglelovesyou@tumblr]


__________________________________________________



17. [WARNING for attempted suicide and depression]

[The Walking Dead]


__________________________________________________



18. [WARNING for suicide]















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #299.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[making_excuses]

You are awesome, and I agree with you so much.

Speaking as someone who wouldn't mind adopting (or being a foster mother) but if I was told that somehow I couldn't have my own biological children I would probably break down, because that is what my body is built to do, and if I can't do that what can I do?

[(Anonymous)]

If someone told me that I would be relieved.

[anonymouslyyours]

Not helpful anon. Just because you feel that way doesn't mean others should.

[cleverthylacine]

The comments about "that was what my body is meant to do" sound a lot like "women's bodies are meant to make babies" and I'm pretty sure the anon you're replying to was reacting to that sentiment.

Speaking as someone who WAS relieved when she found out she should not have biological children.

[fenm]

You too? As far as I know, my lady-parts work fine, but other health issues make having a baby a REALLY bad idea for me. I was told this when I was 18. I was fine with it then, and at 42, I'm still fine with it.

[cleverthylacine]

Oh yeah.

My lady parts ARE part of the constellation of physical suck that make me a member of the not so TAB club, but they became a lot less of an issue after the docs finally realised I was better off getting fixed like I wanted. (To anyone offended by the use of the word 'fixed': no, you're not broken, but I was, so stuff it.)

I am not physically or psychologically suited to parenthood, and it annoys the crap out of me that if I were a guy people would be so much more okay with that. I like tiny people just fine (they are often really interesting once they are able to express their thoughts), but I haven't got enough patience or spoons to live with one or care for one on a day-to-day basis.

[anonymouslyyours]

and if I can't do that what can I do?

Literally everything else.

I understand the self worth issues that come along with infertility, especially for women, but that statement right there is truly worrying to me.

[making_excuses]

Why? Even if I never end up wanting to have child, i would still want the ability to make one and I have enough "wrong" with me to not want to be told that my ovaries (and so on) don't work correctly either, but I get that people think about it differently, and I would never think that anyone who can't have biological children are worth any less, but personally for me I would feel like a failure.

[anonymouslyyours]

I think I'm misunderstanding something. From what I read I thought you meant if you found out you were infertile you might believe you were incapable of accomplishing anything else in life?

And it is worrying that you would feel like a failure and you're clearly aware of that because you were careful to explain that you wouldn't hold that against others. Why shouldn't I be concerned that you would put an unreasonable standard on yourself that you wouldn't put on someone else?

[making_excuses]

Not really, I would feel like a failure if I couldn't have my own biological children (even if it isn't my biggest dream), because my life sucks, it has all my life, and all I have that I can control is my body, I can make the choice to have children or not to have them, if I somehow was infertile I couldn't make that choice and it would crush me. It is slightly hard to explain why I feel this way, but it is one of my biggest fears.

I hold myself to what some might call unreasonable standards all the time, in the way I dress and act in my house and in my studying, I have to do perfect, but I never hold anyone else to the same standard, I accept other peoples failures and mistakes, but I don't give myself the same, because I will and can not end up like my family, I will not make the same mistakes and I will do better and be better, because I have always had to, and that is how life is for me.

[anonymouslyyours]

I think I understand a little better now? But I hope it doesn't happen to you and if it does that you get the love and support you need to overcome the unjustified feeling of failure and the inability to accomplish other things.

I'm sorry you feel this way but I understand where you're coming from. Especially the second paragraph.

[making_excuses]

I'm not really great at the explaining in text thing, but I try. It probably won't and my body is already slightly broken, why would it be broken even more... The weird thing is that I don't really want children, I am firmly placed in the camp of if it happens it happens, but I wouldn't want the choice to be taken away from me.

My life really isn't that bad, I have never been abused or any of the 100s of other horrible things that happens to children (and adults) all around the world, I just have a family with more black sheep than white...

(and today of all days wasn't really a good day for this, because 10 years ago to the day my best friend who also happened to be my cousin was killed, and well she would have been a great mother, and I strive to be as good as her.)

[anonymouslyyours]

My sympathies.

[making_excuses]

aaand now I feel attention seeking, which I try not to be, dammit, I will just go to sleep it is seriously late, and I have around 1000 pages of movie history to get through this weekend...

Oh and thank you!

[anonymouslyyours]

No worries, it didn't come across that way. And good night & good luck!

[logicbutton]

As someone who would also not mind adopting or fostering, I totally know what you mean. I'm sure I would be able to get over it in time with the help of various relevant feminist mantras, but it's just, we all grow up believing that we have the ability to create life. Like, holy shit, create life. And finding out that that wasn't the case after all would be a big letdown.

[making_excuses]

Exactly, but the chance of being infertile is quite low, and as far as fears go it is pretty stupid, but knowing that intellectually and making the mind believe it is two different things.

As far as superpowers go, creators of life is pretty amazing though!