Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-10-08 06:30 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-10-08 06:30 pm
[ SECRET POST #2106 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2106 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - way too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - secret posted as text ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 01:46 am (UTC)(link)And it makes me fucking miserable.
Knowing that there's something I can't give him that any other girl could is awful. On top of not experienceing sexual attraction, I have no libido and I find the idea of me, personally, having sex disgusting. If I weren't so repulsed by sex I would have sex with him because I love him and want to make him happy. I mean, I would probably be really bored but if we had the TV on it'd be okay. Can you watch TV while having sex? I know that if I wasn't so repulsed by it, I would be able to have sex no problem. You don't have to enjoy something to do it - I don't enjoy homework but I do that every damned night.
He is my first boyfriend and probably my last. I like having a romantic partner but this feeling of guilt and inadequacy when it comes to the sexual is horrible. I've even near-begged him to have sex with other women at times. Relationships are about compromise but asking him to compromise to this degree feels selfish. Even though he thinks he's happy right now just to be with me non-sexually, I know he could be happier and that's enough to upset me. I feel like, ultimately, I've wasted the past year and a half of his life by pretty much forcing him to be celibate and I'm wasting more of his time because I won't break up with him because, again, I don't want him to be unhappy.
If it were possible for me to compromise on this I would, without a second's thought.
(frozen comment) no subject
I've gotten him off before, but it's never been reciprocal, and we managed to make it work until he moved to another country.