case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-10-08 06:30 pm

[ SECRET POST #2106 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2106 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - way too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - secret posted as text ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
This is the sort of thing that made me struggle with my sexuality for years. I never saw anyone that I felt attracted to, even people that all my friends would gush over for being hot, but I thought of them as being very aesthetically pleasing people and enjoyed looking at them. It was even more prominent with fictional characters. I assumed that this meant I just had really high standards, and that if I waited long enough I'd meet someone I'd want to have sex with. I went through a really long period of wondering if I was straight, gay, or bisexual, because I felt this way towards people and characters of both sexes, with no discernible preference. Eventually I got desperate and started dating a guy I liked, because I enjoyed his company and thought his looks were nice, and assumed that if I just spent enough time around him and got used to him, the sexual feelings would start up.

This was an awful mistake, I could barely even make myself kiss him by telling myself that it was an obligation I had as his girlfriend. It got to the point where I wished he'd try and force the issue because I wanted to be able to tell him I hated all the physical stuff, but I couldn't bring it up myself because I felt like such a terrible person for feeling that way. (Looking back on it, I'm really glad he was respectful about my obvious discomfort, but I still wish he had made me talk about it. We broke up on a really awkward note because of it.)

But whenever I thought that I might be asexual, I'd think about all the characters I thought were good-looking and my kinks and how I liked to masturbate, and I'd convince myself that there was no way that could be the right answer. It took a long time and a lot of reading other peoples' experiences before I realized that my line of thought was completely wrong. In regards to being asexual, the only qualifier is a person's lack of sexual attraction towards others. Liking shipping or writing porn or looking at half-dressed people has nothing to do with that.

(This is a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but I've been keeping all of this to myself for a long time so please forgive the wall of text.)