case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-10-16 06:43 pm

[ SECRET POST #2114 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2114 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #302.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
tyger66: (Default)

Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)

[personal profile] tyger66 2012-10-17 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
Some children (or adults!) are allowed to behave badly until the only thing that will register is physical punishment, be it a spanking, caning, being forced to scrub the kitchen floor, etc. Sometimes there are cases where words simply are not enough.

I was spanked quite often, and with only one or two exceptions, I improved as a person because of it. When I was spanked for being rude, I learned not to be rude. I was too young to really understand that I was hurting other people's feelings, but I sure as hell understood that I didn't want to be spanked, so I was very polite and respectful. Later, as my ability to comprehend abstractions like other people's emotional pain, embarrassment, annoyance, etc. developed, I no longer needed to be punished physically, because it made me feel bad enough just to know I had caused someone else pain. Eventually I stopped being spanked altogether.
making_excuses: (Default)

Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)

[personal profile] making_excuses 2012-10-17 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
That is the same thinking that makes one threat prisoners badly, and as far as I know rehabilitation works better...

My parents never hit me or hurt me in any way (except emotionally, but that's irrelevant for this), nor did they spend a lot of those threatening me I was told what I could and couldn't do, and how fo behave, if I did something wrong I would get yelled at or sent to my room (taken away stuff and so on) and I learnt to be polite and nice because it is the nice thing to do, not because I was afraid of a punishment if I didn't. I am quite polite and nice because I was taught to understand that it is how you act in the world. I respect my parents because for the most part they do their best, I respected my teachers even if they aren't even allowed to throw me out of the classroom and I respect the police even if they don't carry guns.

Respect and violence isn't something that goes hand in hand, and I don't understand how it is okay to hit a defenseless child, but not an adult, but I understand that cultures are different and at the end of the day I am not in charge of anyone else's threatement of their children and I won't judge a person who comes froma culture where it is socially accepted. But if a parent in Noway hit their kid I would completely lose respect for them, because not only is it illegal, it is damaging for the child.

Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-17 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
You're Norwegian. You guys have luxurious prisons for your prisoners. You guys don't understand that crime has to be punished.

And no, it's not damaging to the child. Abuse is, punishment isn't. Funny thing that most people grew up normal. :/
making_excuses: (Default)

Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)

[personal profile] making_excuses 2012-10-17 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
And a pretty low repeat crime rate, which is what one want s right? To make criminals not do anything criminal again?

Didn't you see the part where I wrote that in a culture where corporal punishment isn't used it is damaging to a child, in one where it is the norm it isn't,

And if I didn't make that clear enough in my earlier comments I apologize for that.