[ SECRET POST #2125 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2125 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 124 secrets from Secret Submission Post #304.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat x 4 and counting. Bets? ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

right, but here's the problem:

in order to get SRS, you have to meet certain guidelines, including doing hormone therapy for a while and presenting yourself full time as your identified gender for a while (this is not to say that these guidelines are okay, but that is how things are). it's probably possible to schedule SRS without your partner knowing, though there's going to be a lot of reasons why that would be difficult (recovery time, etc) but it's... kind of impossible to pull a SURPRISE SEX CHANGE on a current partner unless you don't see them or talk to them for years. maybe they would not know that you wanted SRS, but they would at least know what gender you identified as. by the time SRS would be happening, no trans woman's boyfriend would not know that she's a woman.

in real life the "you're being selfish!" conversations generally happen when 1) partner a is out as trans to partner b and openly plans to get SRS, but partner b does not want them to, or 2) partner a has realized they're trans and is now telling partner b about it, before any medical procedures have taken place. which is way different than "honey, I'm home! with new genitals!"

and a bigger problem actually is the blame around it. you can stop dating someone you're no longer attracted to, but it doesn't mean that they're the bad guy or that you can't support them at all or that any kind of relationship the two of you have would be over. i'm pretty sure that if my partner ever came out to me as trans, i would want to break up, because i am just not attracted to men- but i'd still be a huge douche if i acted like that should determine whether my partner should do what they need to do.

because yes people can break up with each other and that's sad, but it's more important to be able to live with yourself than to stay in a relationship with someone you love.

that's "selfish" in the same way it's selfish to miss your anniversary to go to the hospital when you're injured, sometimes the bigger priorities are your own issues.