[ SECRET POST #2132 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2132 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 100 secrets from Secret Submission Post #305.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[anonymouslyyours]

Oh that guy was definitely a dick. But I don't think it's cool to take advantage of someone expressing interest in you to get something you want. I don't see what's wrong with telling someone you aren't interested but you're still interested in nerding out with them.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a hard time getting worked up about it when the desire is "to talk about sci-fi", and when that was the exact schtick the guy was using to chat Abed up. Abed's not perfect but I hardly think he's the one in the wrong here.

(And this is my bitterness rather than Abed's, but the response to "I'd like to continue talking to you but I don't want to have sex with you" is almost inevitably an end to the conversation.)

[anonymouslyyours]

I don't really care about bar guy outside of extrapolating Abed's behavior to examine OP's feelings about their headcanon. I don't think Abed was in the wrong exactly and considering that was the least of his social awkwardness I found it IC and didn't see it as a bad thing he did. Just that it's kind of an uncool thing to do to someone.

Well yeah, I agree it's a conversation killer. I guess I'm just awkward enough to not want to borrow more by dragging a rejection out for the sake of a conversation?

[biohazardgirl]

I guess I'm just awkward enough to not want to borrow more by dragging a rejection out for the sake of a conversation?

Abed is the opposite kind of awkward.

[anonymouslyyours]

True. I'm not really arguing Abed did anything wrong. Just that I see how the OP could interpret it as manipulative behavior which might give their headcanon a sad slant.

Eta:I was referring to anon's mention of their personal "bitterness", not Abed's interaction.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a good point. Using a shared interest to entice someone to have a conversation with you can't possibly be worse than using a shared interest to entice someone to have sex with you.

If you are willing to do certain things to get sex (like have a conversation you would otherwise not have wanted to bother with), you have to accept that sometimes you will still fail to get sex. Other people are not obligated to repay you for these willfully done things, even when they are aware of the unilateral agreement you made up in your head.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks - you summed it up far better than I did.

[biohazardgirl]

Well put, nonny :D

[anonymouslyyours]

I'd like to make it clear at no point do I think the conversation obligated Abed to date or sleep with bar guy! Just that I could see where the secret was coming from.

And Abed didn't use a shared interest to entice a conversation about Farscape from bar guy he used an unreciprocated interest?

[diet_poison]

I think this is more or less where I stand on the issue, from what I've read. (Never seen the ep in question, so my opinion is secondary here, I just really like talking about these kinds of dynamics.) I think leading someone on is a shitty thing to do, but it doesn't sound like that's what Abed did. Now if he'd been flirting with the guy, that would be another story.

[biohazardgirl]

After careful consideration I'd have to agree to ayrt. The guy who chatted up Abed didn't start by hitting on him really, he started by talking to Abed about Farscape. The show implies that it was selfish of Abed to keep talking about Farscape with this guy who really just wants to have sex with him, because Abed really doesn't want to and is thus 'leading him on' in favor of allowing the man to move on to a different person to pick up.

But if you stop to think about it, is that really selfish? He didn't start talking to Abed by telling Abed he was cute or something, he chatted up Abed about one of Abed's favorite tv shows and bought him a drink. And Abed makes it apparent later that it wasn't even obvious to him at first that the guy was hitting on him. By the time Abed had figured it out, he was just having such a nice time talking about Farscape that he didn't want to end it by being blunt and saying 'this has been really enjoyable but I'm not going home with you at the end of the night.'

The fact is, Abed realized that expressing disinterest would definitely end an awesome conversation, and Abed doesn't have that many people in his life that could have that type of conversation with him.

[anonymouslyyours]

Hmmm. Majority of the conversation happened offscreen and for some reason I got the impression the guy had ramped up considerably to the point where we see him express extreme disbelief Abed didn't pick up on it, which he we find out he did. Which isn't the same thing as the guy as the guy just coming out and admitting he was only interested in picking Abed up... idk what my point is exactly.

It's not this particular conversation I'm twigging on, just that it does set a little precedence for Abed recognizing when someone is attracted to him and using it to get something he wanted.

Wait nm, I'm interrogating the text from the wrong perspective. He didn't use the realization so much as ignore it because it was inconveinent. My bad!

[biohazardgirl]

No perspective is the wrong perspective! It's just interpreting a text :D We're not really inside Abed's head, in my opinion he ignored it, but maybe from someone else's perspective he figured out earlier and had more of a manipulative stance.

[anonymouslyyours]

http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Interrogating_the_text_from_the_wrong_perspective
Man I need to get some new fandom references. But all the goodies are oldies!


/my funny is pastede on yay?