case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-11-13 05:26 pm

[ SECRET POST #2142 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2142 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry it's late!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #306.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
not OP but do you somehow understand what she meant by "practical"? Because I can't figure it out.
visp: (Default)

[personal profile] visp 2012-11-14 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
I'd assume she means remaining a virgin while having a sex drive, dating, having a boyfriend/girlfriend and/or marriage - things a whole lot of people do/have by that age.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
Dating, having a significant other, or being married shouldn't render being a virgin "impractical" -- it's one's own decision, for heaven's sake! Who's rendering it "impractical?"
visp: (Default)

[personal profile] visp 2012-11-14 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, if you marry someone who's fine with not having sex with you, and that's what you want as well, more power to you. But that's not how it goes for most people.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
You seem to be insinuating that it's okay for a spouse to pressure the other spouse into having sex.
visp: (Default)

[personal profile] visp 2012-11-14 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
You seem to either be a troll or very dumb.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
I know you're a troll, but you must be dumb too if you can't get what I'm getting at.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
No, I'm pretty sure they were implying that your spouse may not want to stay married or might not have gotten married to you in the first place if you planed on being celibate for the rest of your life.

Which is fair enough - not everyone wants to be celibate for the rest of their lives. Instead of pressuring the person they're with they should find someone with whom they are more sexually compatible.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
I figured as such, but she kept on dodging around the subject.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Ah!

That being said, the impractical part isn't staying a virgin - it's finding someone who'll be interested in pursuing a celibate romantic relationship.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2012-11-14 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
0___0 hopefully you'd talk about that *before* actually getting married
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2012-11-14 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
No, they are insinuating that relationship where one partner doesn't want sex and the other does, do not work.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2012-11-14 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
What does that have to do with the practicality of virginity (or lack thereof)? The possibilities I can think of are rather head-tilt-worthy
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2012-11-14 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
See my other reply (lower down thread) for more elaboration.

In short : it's "impractical" so to speak, if you're a virgin but you do want sex (it's different for asexuals).

But the thing is, at a certain age, everyone around you will have had sex. They'll have a different learning curve, and by the time you only start exploring they are quite confident and experienced. It can lead to a really imbalanced sex experience when it does come to it, and a lot of people will actually not feel comfortable/happy about introducing someone to sex at that age in the first place.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2012-11-14 12:22 pm (UTC)(link)
That won't be a problem if your partner is equally inexperienced.

The whole world doesn't start having sex at 15 =/

(Anonymous) 2012-11-16 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
There is an inverse relationship between age and number of similarly-aged, equally-inexperienced partners. Not impossible, but not likely either.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2012-11-16 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
So is that a reason for people to start having sex earlier? I'm not really sure what the point is. Those of us who choose to wait do so knowing that many people in our age range haven't waited.

Calling it "impractical" is dangerously close to implying that people should start early just because it's easier or more convenient, despite whatever reasons they might have for not wanting to share their body intimately with another person.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2012-11-14 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Are you implying that everyone is married by the age of 22?

And really, it isn't "impractical" to date and not have sex. Seriously. I've done it. Practicality doesn't even play into it.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Except that's not exactly the point, since (and admittedly I haven't looked at my Handbook for a Proper and Practical Life recently) not everyone gets married before 25, nor is in a serious long term relationship before then. If she wanted to say it was impractical to remain a virgin in a relationship, that would... still be problematic, but in a completely different way. That, however, is not what she said. She said it was impractical to be a virgin at 25. Which is just stupid and pretty much shaming people (and, I would venture a guess, specifically women) for the choices they make with their lives/bodies. It is okay to be a virgin at 25. It is okay not to be in a relationship at 25. What the fuck difference does it make.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
I think I get it now.

It just didn't occur to her that some people stay inside masturbating.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
I would high five you for this comment, but considering we both probably spend a lot of time inside masturbating, that's probably not hygienic.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
That's cool. A casual nod of acknowledgement will suit us just fine.

(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Nice of you to assume. Assumption isn't knowledge or understanding. And just because "a whole lot" do it doesn't mean it's impractical, whatever that means, not to.