fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2144 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2144 ⌋

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I don't know when it started, but I am part of a family of four (plus two cats and a dog) and having three other people around is just a really horribly unpleasant experience for me.

When I'm alone, I'm great.
When there's one other person home, I'm fine with it as long as they're not too loud.
Two others and I start to get antsy. I snap at them without meaning to and I get nervous and shaky.

When all three of my family members are home (like right now), I feel short of breath, my hands shake, I make tons of typos because I can't focus, I'm incredibly angry, and the thought of doing anything other than just sitting still is overwhelming. I slur my words and my head feels foggy. I start a sentence and forget what I was talking about. I start picking at my skin. Sometimes I have to physically leave the house just to not feel utterly miserable and caged.

Is this a normal thing, or is it a serious problem I'm going to need to see a psychologist about?

I'm no psychologist, but...while preferring to be alone doesn't seem odd to me, the reaction you're having to them being around doesn't sound normal. That sort of sounds like an anxiety problem or something? so personally I'd consider seeing someone about it. But I'm pretty much the opposite so I honestly don't know what it's like for people that prefer to be alone, so I could be completely wrong.

It's true that some people prefer to be alone and some prefer to be in company with others, but your physical reactions to being in the company of two or more people worry me. Do you also feel short of breath, shakiness and other symptoms when when you're not at home? If this only happens at home, you should find out why you're experiencing these things be it anxiety or some environmental stimuli. If this happens everywhere, I think you should see a psychologist as soon as possible.

I don't know if it's "normal," but I have the same issue to a lesser extent. ...Well, no, that's not quite true. I don't have quite the same reactions as you, but they're just a severe.

I have noticed though that it's not a matter of the number of people, but that it depends on who those people are. My relatives for example are horrible people who treat me like garbage, so of course the fewer of them around that happier I am. Yet last year I studied abroad and lived with 1-2 other people at any given moment and I was mostly fine as long as they weren't obnoxiously hogging the kitchen or inviting over noisy friends. Quiet flatmates who cause me no trouble though? No problem at all. Visiting friends? Again, no problem.

Come back to live with my family? I've been here 6 months and seriously thought about killing myself at least three times. So I'm inclined to suggest it might not be the number of people you're living with, but the people themselves. I certainly don't think preferring to be alone is a problem.

Seeing a psychologist or therapist couldn't hurt though. They might be able to suggest ways help yourself calm down during those moments when there are too many people around.

Wow, that's a strong reaction you are getting! I also came from a fairly stressful home, and the moment I started dorming I felt so calm and at ease being able to get away from home.

Also I love living alone, it's so peaceful. So I think I kind of understand where you're coming from.

But that is a very severe reaction, likely due to stress, possibly sounds like anxiety. I would definitely recommend seeing a Psychiatrist (they can prescribe medicine). Sometimes it helps to talk about what's going on and maybe you won't need to take medicine, but on the off chance that you are having terrible anxiety attacks, the psychiatrist may start you on something light. If it interferes with your life in a negative way then you should definitely see a professional.

But in the meantime, do you have your own room? Can you shut the door when there are lots of people home? I'm guessing you don't get as much privacy as you would like to have.

In any case, good luck and I hope you can figure this out! :hug:

I know how you feel, I used to get very cagey around my family and now that I'm in university dorms I realise that it's not just them. I'm uncomfortable and jumpy around people as a whole.

I think I might just be an introvert, but yours is a much more extreme reaction. A therapist/doctor might be able to prescribe something if you feel the need.

I'll give you my anecdata.

My family sounds exactly the same on paper. 3 other people, 2 cats and a dog. I love them to bits, and I didn't have issues quite as bad as you. My parents are both quiet people. My little brother, not so much. I don't know when it got bad, exactly, but sometimes the sound of his TV through the wall would drive me insane. I would get angry as fuck, couldn't sit still, just wanted to rage, throw shit and pound on crap. Every time I brought it up with anyone it was "you have to get over it" which pissed me off more because NO SHIT I KNOW THAT. It followed me into college (or started when I was in college, IDK) and to my aunt's house. She wasn't the issue, since the house is HUGE and it was just me and her, but there was a neighbor who played loud music in the garage and it just pushed my buttons.

Well, long story short, after I got put on anxiety/depression medication (for unrelated reasons. Chest pains, actually. Who fucking knew?), the sounds still annoy me but I don't turn into a raging ball of hatred anymore.

So yeah, I'd suggest seeing someone about it.

Edit for full disclosure: But I still live alone now. It's a lot less stressful when you're in control of all the messes and have nobody to blame but yourself. Granted, it's not from my anxiety or whatever, but more because I needed to give a cat a home and live closer to work. Still. It felt important to say this.

Edited 2012-11-16 20:28 (UTC)

[ SECRET POST #2144 ]

Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem

Re: Living with other people makes me unhappy and I think it's a serious problem