fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2153 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2153 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 104 secrets from Secret Submission Post #308.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Sorry to bother you here but I saw you mention this soemwher else and have to ask, can you link me to that epic XMFC Charles Mpreg fic? It was like 36 chapters with a lot of angsts, at first he didn’t know who the father was because he hadn’t felt anything when Erik raped him from behind, he thought it was just a massage (lol), and the baby almost died becayse he didn’t notice he was in labor int he wheel chair. He was also worried about getting fat and bloated with fat ankles and anorexic for a while I hope you didn’t take it off line it was soooooo good!

OMG my favorite copypaste. It makes me lol every time.

I love it because it's like every single terrible-but-fun fanfic I've read rolled into one.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

I always get a kick out of this part.

HI… I’M GEORGE ZIMMER – FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE.. I WOULD LIKE TO FUCK YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER – YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES’ ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON’S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU’LL GROW AN ADAM’S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! Because I just came so hard right now and I need more.

The thing that literally bothers me the most about this is that only someone who has no idea how the US military works would think the Navy SEALs and the Marine Corps have anything to do with each other. Though at least there are snipers in the Marine Corps.

Heh. Gorilla warfare.
Just imagining the Navy Seals, swinging on into terrorist hideouts beating their chests.

The first time I heard "guerrilla soldier" in a news report I was horrified and fascinated. I kept watching to see if they would show the trained gorilla soldiers. It slowly started dawning on me that it must be a nickname or something but I didn't want to believe I wouldn't get to see gorillas in fatigues so i watched the entire program just in case.

I did have the good sense, later, to be grateful no one was making gorillas learn to use gun and shoot each other.
.

I just assumed it meant people fighting in a gorilla-like manner, like how Navy SEALs did amphibious stuff because seals are sort of amphibious.

Stuff made so much sense to me when I was little because I'd just make up a convoluted explanation and roll with it.

I thought they worked with trained seals, like a sea version of the k-9 unit.

da

I looked for gun-wielding gorillas too ._.

But do you eat breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 anonymii that are trained to kill you?

Troller? Troller!? Let me tell you a little something about trolling. It’s fun, it’s easy, and you gonna learn all about it. I’d like you to meet a buddy of mine. He never misses.

I love the smell of butthurt in the morning. You know, one time we had a thread wanked, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I scrolled down. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink username. The smell, you know that outrage smell? The whole thread. Smelled like… victory. Someday this comm is gonna end.

This comm is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The threads are extended gutters and the gutters are full of bullshit and when the drains finally scab over, all the trolls will drown. The accumulated filth of all their lies and hyperbole will foam up about their keyboards and all the social justice warriors and wank starters will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”

None of you understand. You're not commenting on my posts. I'm commenting on yours.

Those of you lucky enough to have your accounts, take them with you. However, leave the dignities and reputations you’ve lost. They belong to me now.

Remember, insanenoodly guy, when I promised to flame you last?

I lied.

lmao

rofl

[ SECRET POST #2153 ]

Copy/Paste eh?

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

Here we go! Post your favs!

Re: Here we go! Post your favs!

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

Re: Copy/Paste eh?

TRU FAX

Re: TRU FAX

Re: TRU FAX

Re: TRU FAX

I came here to make bad puns and flame accounts and I'm all out of bad puns.

Re: I came here to make bad puns and flame accounts and I'm all out of bad puns.

Re: I came here to make bad puns and flame accounts and I'm all out of bad puns.