[ SECRET POST #2158 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2158 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Doctor Who]


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04.
[Gravity Falls]


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05.
[The Guy With The Glasses]


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06.
[Community]


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07.
[Beet the Vandel Buster]


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08.
[The Vampire Diaries]


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09.


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10.


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11.
[The Walking Dead]


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13.


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14.


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15.


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16.
[Nick Grimshaw - BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 017 secrets from Secret Submission Post #308.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fenm]

who would cry after sex
...
Not sure if she's a virgin or not though.

If she mentioned him crying after sex, I'm guessing she's not.

[hwc]

Not necessarily.

I had sex with my ex-boyfriend, but because his penis wasn't near my vagina I still consider myself a virgin. YMMV.

(And no, I'm not saying that lesbians will forever be virgins no matter how much kinky stuff they get up to. Without spamming you with my thoughts on yaoi sex, I think it's all very much about a person's own views and feelings.)

[fenm]

I had sex with my ex-boyfriend, but because his penis wasn't near my vagina I still consider myself a virgin.

Fair enough.

[inkdust]

Tangent comment, because discussions of virgin-or-not draw my interest:
I find it really interesting that you choose the term "have sex" to describe acts that didn't change your virginity status, because in my head I've always equated the two, that if I've had sex then I'm no longer a virgin, and any sexual contact before that would have to be termed "messing around" or the like. I tend to be very specific linguistically in my head, so that's just me, but I don't think I've ever heard someone express that they've "had sex" and still considered themselves a virgin. So that's very interesting to me. Thank you for stimulating my brain :)

[(Anonymous)]

Responding to your side tangent.

It's always been interesting to me how people view sex and what is and isn't especially in the context of virginity or wanting to take things slowly. As a TMI example when my now-spouse and I first got together they wanted to wait before we 'had sex' to get to know each other and ultimately heighten the turn on/anticipation. After we finally 'had sex' I couldn't help but point out that their definition of waiting basically meant everything is okay excluding penetration....where as I see oral sex as just as valid.

So yeah. Eight years later and I'm on the we had sex super early side and they're convinced it was months later... I expect to be having this argument forever. I also had 'virgin' friends in high school who did everything but lose the hymen and well, it ultimately comes down to the individual and their personal body view.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah interesting topic. I'd agree that virginity is definitely about individual perception. Especially when many relationships have stages of 'messing around' and including oral sex (which I also consider valid sex). There's a lot of myth and fetishization (especially historical in regards to female ~purity~ at marriage) involved that seems rather ridiculous in practice.

[inkdust]

Yeah, all that historical (and some current) stuff drives me crazy.

[inkdust]

Definitely interesting. I have a good friend who's waiting til she and her boyfriend are married, and given it's been a few years since we've had such a discussion, she includes oral sex in that, but not...manual, for lack of a better term (digital?). I found that distinction interesting.

[fenm]

After we finally 'had sex' I couldn't help but point out that their definition of waiting basically meant everything is okay excluding penetration....

That definition of sex actually kind of bothers me. Many women don't orgasm during PIV sex, but will during oral or manual sex. So what you can end up with is a definition of sex that makes completely ignores women's pleasure/desire/orgasm, and only makes it "sex" when men get off.
/soap box

[hwc]

You're welcome. ;)

It's funny because a dear friend of mine seems to have the same view as you do, and we discussed our definitions of what is and isn't sex for a couple of hours before agreeing to disagree. I'd given her a shock when I said that I've had sex with my ex; I did tell her what my ex and I had done in bed, but she considers none of it sex. For her sex = PiV, so nearly had a heart attack when I said I've had sex (and thought I had lied to her about being a virgin).

What made it even more hilarious (for me) was that I had a similar conversation with her boyfriend only a few weeks before. I never thought about it much, but apparently the opinion that sex isn't just PiV isn't really that common? (I'm a special snowflake! Yay! \o/)

[inkdust]

Haha, among straight people, yeah, probably not that common. What I considered sex wasn't PIV because it was with a girl, but there was no way I wasn't going to consider it sex or that I wasn't no longer a virgin (double negatives) after the intimacy of it. Which is why your lesbian-virgin addendum pleased me, because it's an issue for me myself. Being bi, if I had ended up with a guy first instead, would my first "having sex" have been /more/ "having sex" than as it happened with my girlfriend? Bullshit, of course. And yet if I had been with a guy, I probably wouldn't have considered it sex/non-virginity until PIV. PARADOX. Blarg. /endrant

[(Anonymous)]

Oh lol 'who gets to be considered not a virgin by what act' is another interesting but aggravating side issue...