fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2177 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2177 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Seriously, I don't know where else to ask and going anon in case someone I know sees this. It's got enough nerdery all over it to be Not Your Typical Gift Situation.

So, my housemates have a D&D group. I don't participate in this group, I simply am not a tabletop gamer and don't much care. When they come over, I go in the other room where it's quiet. Last weekend, several of them brought holiday gifts for each other, and one of them also got me a small gift. Why? IDK I'm sure it's a combination of not wanting the third wheel to feel left out and the idea that we are somewhat casual, passing acquaintances outside of these gaming nights.

It was one of those small anime figurines that you get in a batch - you know the type, there's four different possible figurines it could be, and the box won't tell you which one it is, part of the "fun" is the surprise of finding out which one you got. One of the options was in fact one of my favorite characters. However, that's not who was in the box. It was actually a character...I can't stand. I hate this character. I don't want this figurine.

What does one do with a figurine they don't want gifted by a person who isn't really a close friend and who you're not going to get an obligatory reciprocal gift anyway? How do you unload it discreetly? Besides eBay, because even though I didn't pay for it I'm not getting 99 cents for it. And on top of that, how do I explain when/if she comes over for game night and can see that it's not on my action-figure shelves?

Do you know anyone who would like the figure? Give it to them instead. If they ask about the figure, thank them for the gift and explain that you ended up getting a character you didn't like, so you gave it to someone you thought would enjoy it more. But try to emphasize that you appreciate them thinking of you, so that you don't sound ungrateful?

I don't actually know what kind of mystery figurine you're talking about or how much it costs.

So, I would suggest, as brightblueink said, emphasizing how much you appreciate the thought, you might approach the gift-giver and say that it's not your style and ask if they would like it back or (if you know someone who would like it) if they would be offended if you gave it to someone else.

Or, is it likely they'll notice it's not on your shelf? Can you say you're just trying to find a good place for it, if you don't want to deal with a confrontation?

Honestly, no - I'm the only one out of anyone in my/their/our geek circle who is into this fandom, that I know of.

you may be right about being up-front and yet grateful, thanks.

I say do this, and then give a small gift to the person so they have something tangible as proof that you did appreciate the gift.

It could be something like a nice scarf, some of them fancily packaged cookies, chocolates... something impersonal (unless you have a good idea of what this person would like) but that is still useful or delicious.

I would suggest something DnD related, but I imagine most of the things related to DnD that would be genuinely appreciated by a gamer would be expensive.

I don't remember where to buy them, but I think you can get chocolate polyhedral dice for a pretty reasonable price.

Really? That is pure awesomeness.

OP, go Google this ASAP.

Five itself is a fun cheap gift for gamers! My sister-in-law did that for her group. Also maybe a Giffard for a local game shop for $5-10. They could pick out a new miniature or pity it toward a new book. I know my group loves miniatures.

I didn't know this was a thing, but it sounds cool.

OP, now you have no excuse

And if not a gift, at least give write a nice thank-you note! Mandatory.

Re-gift to another nerd who would appreciate it?

I might be reading your tone wrong, but you kind of sound like an ass here. Someone did something nice, and you're complaining about their motivations and the gift they gave you. Seems like you could just look on the positive side and acknowledge that it was a sweet thing to think of you and gift you with this figure, even if it didn't work out.

As for if they ask why it's not there, you could always go with the truth. Say something along the lines of you appreciated the thought but you actually don't care for the character and so regifted it/whatever to someone who did.

I know, it does sound bad, but I'm fairly antisocial and tend to side-eye people I don't know well giving me gifts.

like I said above, I don't know anyone else into the fandom so it might be a long search, but regifting is something I admit I didn't think of.

Why don't you choke on it you ungrateful fuck.

Damn dude, it's a small figurine. Just give it to someone or throw it away for god's sake.

If there's no-one you know who likes that character you could regift to, then just donate it. There's plenty of toy drives this time of year, and some older kid/teen might like it. Or just Goodwill/Oxfam/whatever.

As to feeling awkward about receiving a gift from someone you're not close with, it very well could be a regift from them as well. I've definitely received regifted fandom gifts, both people knowing I like certain shows more than they do (Star Trek, Doctor Who) and from people who think I might like X show when actually NEITHER of us likes it (Super-fucking-natural, ugh).

I'm actually a little shocked at how ungrateful you're being. This person has gone to the trouble, time and expense to do something nice for you. They've even tried to personalise the gift, rather than sticking to chocolates/bath stuff/socks that lazy people like me do. It's not their fault that a blind boxed item wasn't your favourite character, or that you have such a dramatic hatred of the one you got.

And instead of saying how nice it was to be thought about, or how guilty you feel for not reciprocating, you just complain that you have to put yourself to the trouble of throwing it away.

You don't deserve presents.

NA
+1, OP is being really inconsiderate here.

I'd say they got it for you as much because they know you live there too - and because hey. The group their with takes over your house on a regular basis, so they wanted to be polite.

That said...well. Is there anyone you can give it to that would like the character? Or can you try donating to a thrift store? As for what to say...well. Let me ask this - would it be possible to say 'Yeah, it's actually up in my room, thanks for the gift!'? [Though if you do that, I'd hang on to the figure for the next couple times the group meets up, just in case they want to see which one it is.]

[ SECRET POST #2177 ]

Geek Gifting Etiquette

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