fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2177 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2177 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think the death of children is far less heartbreaking than the death of adults and I genuinely don't understand why the majority opinion is the opposite.

That's such an abhorrent and obtuse opinion that I'm inclined to think you are trolling.

I've heard the first half of the OP's opinion before, so I'm not inclined to believe that he or she is trolling. I am inclined to believe that he or she is really young, though.

na

Why? The death of an adult can have a far more devastating impact on their family than the death of a child. I can see where ayrt is coming from.

Financial impact or emotional impact? I think that's what's important to consider here (if we're discussing families as a whole, not just from the perspective of children of parents).

Both. My parents grew up without any kind of insurance because the idea of insurance didn't exist. My grandparents were the only things holding their families together. If my grandfathers died, my parents and their siblings would have had to drop out of school and take on jobs they were too young for to earn money for their families. If my grandmothers died, my parents and their siblings would have had to drop out of school to run their farms. There would be no help from the extended family because everyone had their own families to take care of. So, for them and their families, the loss of one parent would have been far more devastating emotionally and financially than losing a siblings.

I understand things are different in USA because social nets and insurance exist to help families survive. However, they don't exist for a large part of the world. When I hear about how children died to work to pay for their families' expenses or even sold for money, I understand where OP is coming from. Because in some parts of the world, the death of an adult literally means one or more of their children will die too.

AYRT:

I understand things are different in USA because social nets and insurance exist to help families survive.

Not enough, unfortunately. I'm from a moderately well-off family with good insurance policies, but even I would have to drop out of school and begin working if my father died (knock on wood) -- unless I wanted to sink myself in loans that would take me decades to pay off. You can imagine what would happen to a child whose family was already below the poverty line.

It's the OP's use of the word "heartbreaking" that puts me off, because it seems to veer into the emotional rather than the practical side of things (not to say that the death of an adult isn't heartbreaking); on top of that, this comment comes on the heels of the school shooting in Connecticut, so it's incredibly insensitive. Otherwise, I do understand what he or she's saying.

I'm writing this through the lens of the recent shooting in Connecticut.

One of the major reasons for the difference in opinion is that children (I'm assuming you're referring to kids under 15 or so) haven't been able to have certain life experiences yet -- graduating from school, beginning a family, finding a career, going to new places, meeting many new people outside of their limited spheres of family and school, and so on. It's the waste of potential and the nipping at the bud of a human being.

While the deaths of adults -- especially young adults -- raise the same issue, I think that there's an expectation that a recognition of death comes with adulthood. It doesn't make sense, but part of growing up is the realization that you can die.

You also need to remember that the commentary on tragedies where children have been killed is almost entirely from adults, many of whom have children of their own. A lot of them can't help but think of their own kids when learning about the deaths of other people's children (especially in a commonplace setting like a school). Conversely, there aren't any kids commenting about the loss of parents (and there aren't a lot of young children who would even make that empathetic leap -- your own parents seem indestructible when you're small).

Generally I think that the death of an adult generally has way more of a personal impact on everyone around them. It's more heartbreaking for me simply because the circle they'd have built themselves is wider. For me the personal grief of the family of the adult is far easier to empathise with than a whole bunch of adults fearing and grieving for children because they see their own kids in them. I don't get the later bit. It just seems bizarre to me personally. I mean, I understand it intellectually that this is what people do now that you've explained it, but emotionally I still don't get it.

It's the waste of potential and the nipping at the bud of a human being.

This whole confession is, frankly, caused by the fact that I didn't know how many adults died until two days after the shooting because everyone is freaking out over the kids. Also caused by the #20acts that took days to turned into #26acts because now adults are afterthoughts to children, which pisses me off very badly. I know this is what people think to be the crux of the tragedy regarding children, but I don't understand why it's such a bad thing. Even someone dying in their fifties have wasted potential and things they haven't finished doing!

NO parent should have to experience the death of their child. For someone not to understand this basic concept shows a terrifying lack of empathy. I frankly pity you, OP.

OP never said parents should have to experience the death of their child o_O

NAYRT

You took their comment too literally. The OP "genuinely doesn't understand" why other people think that the death of a child is more heartbreaking than the death of an adult, so the anon you replied to responded with the statement that the death of a child is so horrible, no parent should have to experience it.

So an adult is not someone's child? Jsyk an adult also has parents to mourn them, and spouses too if they're married and children if they have them. Not all adults die when they're old and grey.

Don't shoot the messenger. I was just explaining the comment.

An adult is also someone's child. He or she is also someone's parent, uncle, colleague, or friend. The emotional impact on everyone they know and everyone who knows them seem way bigger than me than a kid who doesn't have nearly as much time to gather that network. So this reason is just completely empty for me.

(The anons are right: I am incredibly unempathic. It's the exact reason why I'm asking.)

[ SECRET POST #2177 ]

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