fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2182 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2182 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[incorrectly labeled a repeat]

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I have this friend, and I think I might sort of be in love with her, but I'm not sure, and it got me thinking. I don't know if I've ever been in love - I've never been sure (and at 24 I feel like I "should" know what it feels like to be in love, or at least have come close enough to be able to extrapolate or something, but... I don't know if I do?). So, F!S, I am curious. In your experience, how *do* you know? How do you figure out if you love a friend as a friend, or if there's more to it? How do you figure out if you're in love in general?

I realized when I was projecting my feelings of love onto everyone I saw. I'd look at my coworkers, think of him, and suddenly be awash with warm feelings. Pizza girl brings pizza: "Oh, pizza girl, you're so timely and wonderful!" and so on.

I wouldn't say things seemed brighter or happier like some other people do, but I feel like my feelings of love just shot out of me and stuck on to everything else.

It's also just an intense feeling of whatever your normal attraction is: wanting to constantly be around them, feeling overjoyed when you see them, trusting them completely, etc.

It's also just an intense feeling of whatever your normal attraction is: wanting to constantly be around them, feeling overjoyed when you see them, trusting them completely, etc.

This, too

I don't fall in love. And, honestly, I have no clue whatsoever as to how "normal" people distinguish between love, platonic love and friendship. I guess the difference between love and friendship is the sexual attraction, but, uh, if you're sexually attracted to your friend, does it necessarily mean that you're in love with them? Then again, what's the difference between platonic love and friendship?.. Whatever. I don't think I'll ever figure it out.

Naw, I realized I was falling in love with my friend before I developed sexual attraction to her. It started with being especially happy when I saw her, and getting sadder than usual when I didn't see her for awhile, and then when I started thinking about having a crush on her, I started getting all these bubbly, silly feelings that would make me start grinning like a loon in the middle of anything.

I mean, the steps of being in romantic love are a distinct set of chemical reactions. Platonic love for friends or parents just doesn't follow the same process.

I've been in love with exactly one person. At the time I wasn't sure for a while either, and did the same thing as you lol, asking friends what their experiences were. But...I guess it was a combination of the super cheesy "you just know", and things like...knowing I guess that he was more important to me than pretty much any other thing or person, and what I'd be willing to do for him, and the realization that I would like to spend the rest of my life with him, and I honestly meant that 100%.

As for the "in love with a friend" thing, though, I...can't really help you with that. At the time I was in a serious relationship with this guy for more than two years already. I know what it's like to crush on a friend (you know, your heart goes flip-flip and all that cheesy stuff) but I've never fallen in love with a "just friend".

Good luck figuring it out, though ;-;

I don't think I fall in love easily, though I do get infatuated with people. I kind of wonder if I've ever been in love because to me loving someone involves some sort of selflessness, like you'd be willing to give up your time to do something for the other person whether that be picking them up from the airport to taking care of them if they grow old or hurt themselves. Stuff you would do for a family member. I don't think I could do that for many people, it might be because I'm incredibly selfish. I have become very infatuated with some people very quickly and easily, where I get the feeling of wanting to be around them and thinking about them all the time, following them around when I see them at parties (embarrassing to think I did that at some point in time with this one dude I liked...) All of that strikes me as very selfish in many ways but, it's a real feeling and that can't be denied I guess

I guess I know when I picture myself living with them, going to family gatherings together, adopting a cat or two and it just feels right.

I felt sure I was in love with a friend I was unsure about but who had confessed some feelings for me when I thought over a period of time about my life without him (livable but spiritually and mentally much poorer), the idea of living life with him (comfortable enough), whether anyone I was attracted to then for any reason and in any amount was worth pursuing over our relationship (nope), and what we were willing to do for each other (a pretty sizable chunk), among other things. Roughly concurrent with these thoughts was being even more ridiculously happy than usual on seeing him. And at some point thinking, "When the hell did his smile get so damn cute?... Ohhh shit, here we go."

[ SECRET POST #2182 ]

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