Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-12-23 03:02 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-12-23 03:02 pm
[ SECRET POST #2182 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2182 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[incorrectly labeled a repeat]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
End of the year disappointment
(Anonymous) 2012-12-24 04:20 am (UTC)(link)Well, pretty early in, one of them started making fun of the choices one of my closer friends (who wasn't there today) is making (both in her career and her personal life) and the things she says on the phone.
One of the people I was really looking forward to seeing didn't come because she is spending Christmas with her boyfriend who lives in a different town.
I ended up spending most of my time with somebody I hadn't really wanted to talk to that much, hearing about the parties of shared friends she had been to (I hadn't been invited). She also showed around photos of her wedding and quite a few pitched in with their own wedding plans or the houses they are buying with their boyfriends. One or two felt like pointing out that they are going against the convention in their workplace by not planning on getting married to their boyfriend when they get their PhD. I just kept quiet, not mentioning that I've still not been in a relationship yet, at 25.
I know, that's still fairly young, but I just started feeling increasingly lonely and inadequate, especially since this has been a fairly stagnant year for me academically as well.
I know I ought to get over this kind of thing. I'm just starting to feel like this bitter person who can't be happy for their friends' happiness, and that's not really who I want to become.
On the up side, I also met a different friend I hadn't seen for several years who seemed really happy to see me. We'll probably meet for a chat before the end of the year.
Anyway, I guess I just needed to rant somewhere.
Re: End of the year disappointment
(Anonymous) 2012-12-24 07:08 am (UTC)(link)I know I ought to get over this kind of thing. I'm just starting to feel like this bitter person who can't be happy for their friends' happiness, and that's not really who I want to become. Honestly it doesn't sound like the people you mentioned are actually friends, just acquaintances that you've grown further from this year than you had last year. There's nothing wrong with that at all, but of course it feels crappy.
IMHO, buying a house before the age of 30 (in the US, anyway; maybe you're somewhere else) is a really bad idea. 30 is the magical age for home owner's insurance and mortgage companies. Any younger and you're paying too much. You're also working against your very young credit score whereas renting builds your credit score. Also, in most careers under 30 is too young/too unstable with your career or employer to know that you're going to live somewhere longterm. With the housing market as it is, just about anyone buying a house today who has to sell it within 5 years is going to lose a lot of money.
Don't get too down about comparing yourself to old school friends. I can guarantee there is something about you and your life that each of them is jealous about or would be if they knew everything about you. It's how we humans are; nobody's perfect and neither is life, but we can usually see the things we want in the people we meet.
I hope 2013 is a better year for you, OP!
Re: End of the year disappointment
(Anonymous) 2012-12-25 04:14 am (UTC)(link)I guess I do need to start thinking of my friends from back then as acquaintances who don't matter all that much, even though that is a bit sad. And yes, I can think of a few things they'd be jealous about; I tend to get wrapped up in my own issues and tend to lose perspective over that.
I do live in a different country and the situation on the housing market here is quite a bit better than in the US, but I still feel 25 is a bit early for buying a house (but then, I think the same thing about getting married and obviously, my peers don't seem to share that opinion).
I hope you have a great 2013 as well!