fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2185 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2185 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]

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[not a repeat; was broken yesterday]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Over the last year a casual fandom friend became an unexpected source of support while dealing with some rl issues and we grew a lot closer than I would've ever thought we would. I'm in a much better place now and wanted to thank her in a special way by doing some artwork for one of her fics. We only share one fandom and I didn't find anything that inspired me so I was checking out her other works in fandoms I'm uninterested in and found that her newest and most popular fic's plot, which has received almost three times the comments and kudos of her previous work, is heavily reliant on the situations and issues I shared with her in confidence. In some places she even quotes things I said verbatim and not just loosely paraphrased.

I'm not directly referenced anywhere, I thoroughly checked all the comments as well, and there's nothing that would really make people connect anything to me but I still feel mortified and betrayed. She never mentioned anything like this to me which might be because we don't really talk about our fandoms the other isn't interested in. Is this as big a deal as I think it is? Should I ask her about it or chalk it up to an artist drawing on real life inspiration? I don't have any reason to believe she's directly told anyone about what I'm dealing with or what I said.

That seems incredibly sketchy to me. It's one thing to draw inspiration from friends and RL situations, but to base a fic around it and use things you've told her in confidence without consulting you about it isn't exactly kosher. Even if she hasn't told anyone specifically that it's you, it's still your situation and things you've told her that she's using. If anything, I'd bring it up to her and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable.

I see a problem here, but not quite the one you're suggesting. For me the problematic part is that you're also present in the fandom community and that there's a possibility of you being connected to her works.

For example, I have this friend who doesn't even speak English and isn't a fannish kind of person; I would use anything I know about her in a heartbeat, because for the fandom world she's non-existent.

But yeah, I think that what your friend's done is bad. If she would be a nice person, she would at least consult you first. You should try talking to her. I wouldn't advise on attacking her, though, just try to clarify things. Maybe she doesn't see the problem and will try to fix it once she knows that you're uncomfortable with it.

Thats a pretty big violation, yeah. If she was going to do that, she should've asked your permission, and she definitely shouldn't have kept it secret from you. It's creepy to be used for material like that, especially since you were opening up and being vulnerable with her. I'd talk to her about it.

That is not an artist drawing on inspiration. That is a 'friend' betraying your confidence.

She's already told people what you said AND what you've gone through, in her fic. She turned your real life into a work of fanfiction for asspats and kudos. She did this without your knowledge or consent.

I suggest you tell her exactly how this makes you feel and ask her to take it down. Also I suggest you do not gift anything because that will seem like permission for her to continue using things you've told her in confidence as fodder for her 'fiction'.

Is this as big a deal as I think it is?

Yes. Probably bigger.

Oh, yikes. That was definitely insensitive of her at best, and you have a right to feel violated. Especially since she was quoting you verbatim. If you want to confront her about it you definitely wouldn't be in the wrong. If you don't feel up for confronting her, casually drifting away and not trusting her anymore is an okay option, too.

It sucks majorly that she did that to you. Hugs if you want them.

"writers are always selling somebody out."

[ SECRET POST #2185 ]

unwitting muse

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