[ SECRET POST #2186 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2186 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[QI]


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03.
[Supernatural]


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04.
[Haven (SyFy)]


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05.
[The Boondocks]


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06.
[Steve Rogers/Tony Stark]


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07.
[Doctor Who]


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08.
[Twilight]


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09.
[Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations]


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10.
[Stephen Colbert and Audra McDonald]


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11.
[Teen Wolf]


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12.
[Calvin & Hobbes]


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13.
[Blue Bloods]


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14.
[BBC Sherlock]


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15.


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16.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 017 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

And I got hit with a thick wooden paddle wrapped in duct tape, because my mother split the paddle in half beating my older brother with it. Parents shouldn't fucking hit their children.

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you want to compare bruises? Parenting skills extend beyond physical punishment. My dad was not perfect, but the belt was not mentally scarring. And I used to get huge, purple bruises on my thigh from those. He had two of them, one was heavier and thicker so it hurt more.

So don't try to tell me that I don't know about pain. There are much worse things in life, like neglect and emotional abuse. Or REAL physical abuse, like breaking limbs or families that regularly punch the life out of their brothers and sisters or children. Trust me, this is not abuse.

[(Anonymous)]

da

People are different. That experience wasn't mentally scarring for you, but you can bet your ass it would have been to me.

[(Anonymous)]

That may be so, and I'm not against protecting children from real abuse, but I honestly think that the whole argument against plain old, palm to butt spanking has been blown waaaay out of proportion. It really boils down to parenting skills as a whole, not just a couple incidents of spanking.

[(Anonymous)]

Blown out of proportion is probably true, but I will always be categorically against physical punishment in any form. That's just where I stand.

[(Anonymous)]

You are entitled to your opinion and that's cool. I'm just tired of hearing people jokingly tell me I'm gonna be an 'abuser' because I believe spanking when applied at the right time is useful. It's so ridiculous. And I wouldn't use it immediately like my dad did with the belt, I would just use it as a last resort if other forms of punishment weren't working.

da

[(Anonymous)]

You're a so-called Bible believer, aren't you, nonny?

Regardless, there is NO RIGHT TIME THAT SPANKING IS USEFUL.

If you cannot teach your children to respect themselves and others by TALKING TO THEM, to they point where you HAVE to use corporal punishment, you're not an abusive parent -- just a horrifically bad one.

...and if the next argument is, you can't talk to a one-year-old, I am finished with this conversation. Spanking is NEVER useful. It neither informs, nor disciplines, the child in questions --- it just teaches them that the bigger a person is, the more power they have to inflict pain on another human being.

All that said. I don't think we can retroactively say that all spanking in (for instance) the 1950s was abusive (though some was), because it was so widespread in society at the time, that there was a herd immunity effect (i.e,., kids knew what they had coming to them, so they were inoculated from misbehaving). However, this also had the effect of reinforcing class and power divides, which led directly to many of the problems that still exist thanks to that generation of children (now Baby Boomers).

In the present, the culture swings too much the opposite way, and children are self-entitled brats who are taught absolutely no respect for themselves, which directly leads to them having respect for others, which ABSOLUTELY impacts on their (mis)behaviour in a meaningful way.

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

'...and if the next argument is, you can't talk to a one-year-old, I am finished with this conversation.'

You can't. That's the whole goddamn point.

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

One-year-olds are neither meant to be talked to, NOR are one-year-olds meant to be hit. There is a third option, anon, it's called GOOD PARENTING. You might read some books. Or, you know, consult some clergy (ones who DON'T advocate hitting your children). Or taking a parenting course. Because, seriously? There is no way you should be swatting a child under the age of two. They are not going to understand what they've done, why you're hitting them, or how to change their behaviour because (as I said elsewhere in the thread) their brains are not developed to that stage yet.

Solution to a screaming one-year-old throwing a temper tantrum? Physically remove them from the inflammatory situation WITHOUT HURTING THEM IN ANY WAY, into a neutral environment (with no objects they can harm themselves or others with). When they get old enough to understand, explain to them that their behaviour is distracting and upsetting to others, and if they want to be good people, they have to be considerate of others...and that means not being loud or disruptive when out in public.

Which is a conversation you can have when the child is about five or so. Prior to that? Neutralization does NOT involve the use of physical FORCE.

[(Anonymous)]

You've got to take people's social context into consideration too. If everybody's getting rump-whumped with a paddle, it's no big deal mentally or emotionally to that society, you take your knocks and carry on.

There's also the flip side to that where people in such societies are so convinced that they 'turned out just fine' and don't recognize or give a crap about legit abuse when they see it because they're so used to the concept of adults beating kids that they don't bother to draw a line. But I digress. I'm from one of those places. It's an uphill battle.

[(Anonymous)]

There's also the flip side to that where people in such societies are so convinced that they 'turned out just fine' and don't recognize or give a crap about legit abuse when they see it because they're so used to the concept of adults beating kids that they don't bother to draw a line.

Nail, head. Some people don't think it's "real" abuse until a hospital visit is required. If you can walk and nobody molested you, you're fine. Scares the hell out of me.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you. It took me years upon years to realize how messed up some things about my childhood were. Turns out it's actually not normal or healthy to be constantly terrified of your guardians. Who knew? >_>

[(Anonymous)]

You're attempting to put an entire dictionary in my mouth. I have no clue what you're aiming for, because I never said any of that shit. Point still stands: Parents shouldn't fucking hit their children.

[(Anonymous)]

I guess it boils down to the difference between hitting and spanking. And where you are hitting. The butt has more fat on it so it isn't so bad. But aiming for the head is something else entirely, which would probably be closer to abuse. But legally, I don't know how they define it.

[(Anonymous)]

Growing up I preferred being hit in the face than the butt because it sexually excited me and getting spanked was bad enough without molesty feelings.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Yeah...my spanking kink started really young. I remember being excited by spanking (though not in an explicitly sexual way) when I was five.

I'm really grateful that my parents didn't believe in spanking, because it was confusing enough for me as it was. I was threatened with spanking a couple times and...well, it's not like I bear a grudge, but I absolutely believe my parents were wrong to threaten it in the first place.

I'm really sorry it was like molestation to you. I think it would have been for me, too.

[(Anonymous)]

I wasn't physically punished very often but when I slipped up and was told I had earned a spanking I would immediately try and antagonize the situation to the point my parent would slap me because I knew once that happened the spanking wouldn't.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry -meant to reply to above nonny

[diet_poison]

I guess it boils down to the difference between hitting and spanking.

Spanking is a form of hitting. No matter where you stand on corporal punishment, that part is non-negotiable.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my gosh, my mom's in her seventies and is still a wreck at times because of the emotional abuse her mother put her through. There are some things you do not tell your child, ever, and my grandmother said them all. And spent one entire year ignoring her. Emotional abuse is ridiculously hard to overcome.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the only people who spanked mom were the nuns at her school.

[(Anonymous)]

That's so sad! Sorry she went through all that. :(