[ SECRET POST #2186 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2186 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[QI]


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03.
[Supernatural]


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04.
[Haven (SyFy)]


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05.
[The Boondocks]


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06.
[Steve Rogers/Tony Stark]


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07.
[Doctor Who]


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08.
[Twilight]


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09.
[Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations]


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10.
[Stephen Colbert and Audra McDonald]


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11.
[Teen Wolf]


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12.
[Calvin & Hobbes]


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13.
[Blue Bloods]


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14.
[BBC Sherlock]


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15.


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16.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 017 secrets from Secret Submission Post #312.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

...so she couldn't...move your car seat to the other side of the car, where you couldn't kick her? Threaten to take away something you liked when you got home if you didn't stop? Why were you even kicking her seat? Were you bored, trying to get attention, frustrated over something, being malicious specifically because you knew she didn't like it?

At least, those are the questions I ask myself, when kids misbehave for no apparent gain. Spanking is an effective shortcut around all those tedious questions, especially when a busy parent hasn't got the time or patience, but...yeah. Seemed like there were more options, in that situation, based on the tiny bit of info.

[(Anonymous)]

Threaten to take away something you liked when you got home if you didn't stop?

Now this wouldn't have worked. Small children normally can't think in the long-term like that, so little Illiadandoddity most likely wouldn't have stopped kicking the seat.

I'm unsure if you have children yourself (your phrasing makes it sound as if you don't), but I do think you're being overly indulgent. Kids can see that and take advantage of it.

[(Anonymous)]

SA

It worked with me, even very young. I spent most time alone and was very attached to the things I used to pass time. Consequences that might leave me with nothing were dire. Which made the times I was spanked, always out of anger with no warning first, just grabbed and smacked around, all the more bitter. It's like nothing else would have worked and had the extra benefit of not making me cry.

It creeps me out when people say "kids are like this" like they all have the same personalities and circumstances. It's just not true, and leads to tactics being used on kids who won't benefit from them.

[(Anonymous)]

*It's not like

[(Anonymous)]

I think we're referring to different ages? If you're the anon down-thread who was punished as a child by having your computer or cellphone taken away, you wouldn't have been young enough to still need a car seat. I'm talking about children younger than, say, five years old.

It's more of a matter of brain development than personality. Children younger than a certain age don't yet have the mental capacity to, for example, empathize with other people, spend long periods of time away from their caregivers, or think in the long term.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

AYRT said it worked on them "even very young." Presumably that means before they were cell-phone age.

[illiadandoddity]

It's okay, sweetie. Everyone does their best parenting before they have kids. Because in a hypothetical situation (which this effectively is for you) you are detached, and have the time and peace of mind to weigh every decision and action you make, and the hypothetical child reacts the way you expect it to. If some day, you are in a similar situation in real life, you do not know how you are going to react, how your child is going to react, and what decision you will ultimately make.

Maybe it was a mistake for my mom to have not considered EVERY SINGLE possible other option, but I was a danger to her and myself by distracting her from driving, and her solution got me to immediately stop my dangerous actions and not continue them. And that's the thing. The occasional wrong or less-than-perfect solution is a fact of life, and NOT the end of the world, even in parenting.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my effing god, THIS.

I am so tired of people who don't have small rowdy children and who haven't been subjected to living nonstop with small rowdy children and their magical speaking and rationalizing hypothetical scenarios that supposedly prevent trauma and make all the super-special snowflakes out there grow up to be perfect little angels.

You cannot rationalize behavior with a small child. Children test limits, they're all *about* testing limits. Whether it's because they're actively trying to see what they can get away with, because they're bored and want acknowledgement, or because they're just plain wanting to see their parent blow a gasket.

[(Anonymous)]

...you don't have siblings, do you?

At a certain age kids DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. Long term or delayed punishments? Whatever, it's all about the NOW. NOWNOWNOW. You cannot hope to reason with a 2 year old.

- anon who has 5 siblings who turned out great

[(Anonymous)]

...which is why, yes, remove the child from the situation without hurting them --- but adding corporal punishment to the mix isn't going to make an impact, either.

[(Anonymous)]

"..so she couldn't...move your car seat to the other side of the car, where you couldn't kick her?"

First option that popped into my head tbqh.

[(Anonymous)]

There could have been other people in the car, you know.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

...People who wouldn't kick the back of her seat?