[ SECRET POST #2195 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

If you do nice things with an ulterior motive related to "winning" someone, you're a Nice Guy/Girl. That's pretty much the only criterion there is.

[(Anonymous)]

This so much, goddamn.

[atgdng]

Wait wait wait, if you do nice things to try to impress someone you're a 'nice guy/girl'? I mean, isn't that a crazy broad definition? How does that even make sense? People do things to make themselves look better/more appealing all the time. It's kind of in our nature, yes?

[(Anonymous)]

Well...yes. If you're nice only for appearances' sake, you're not actually that nice. In the case of Nice Guys, they treat nice deeds like a currency that can somehow buy them the person they want regardless of other factors. Just because they were "nice," but not necessarily because they're nice people. It's incredibly sleazy.

[(Anonymous)]

So if you're interested in someone, then you must not do anything to impress that person, or you're a jerk?

[(Anonymous)]

Didn't say that. But there's a big difference between, say, mentioning that you do volunteer work because you think someone will be interested in that, and doing volunteer work only when that person is around.

[(Anonymous)]

In that case why the hell do people complain about Nice Guys/Girls? I'd been given to understand that the term was originally used to describe men (generally those falling into the whinging loser category) who expressed entitled attitudes towards women because they viewed themselves as 'a nice guy'. However, what you're describing is a perfectly normal human behaviour engaged in by the vast majority of people living in cultures where people choose their own spouse. When people are romantically interested in someone they usually try to impress them in some way; be it through endeavouring to look more physically attractive, asking them out on a date, giving a gift, showing off their prowess at a particular activity or helping them out with something.

Sure, it's awkward when the feelings aren't returned or romantic overtures are mistaken for purely friendly ones, but unless the person making them starts to subsequently act in an unpleasant or harrasive fashion towards the person rejecting them, it's nothing more than that.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Unless the person pursuing has a 15 year plan to win the other person. Then it ventures into crazy, obsessive stalker territory.

Teen wolf is there.

[(Anonymous)]

I sincerely doubt that Stiles is sitting in his bedroom scribbling out plans to win over Lydia in journals. I do not think that line was meant to be taken as seriously as everyone seems to have taken it...

[(Anonymous)]

It's more that they do nice things for the one they love instead of telling them how they feel, and then act like the other person owes them a relationship and/or sex.

The problem was really that they needed to be more straightforward and/or graciously take (an unspoken) 'no' for an answer, but this is where some people tend to blame their own perceived "niceness". It's perfectly possible to be straightforward and nice, though, and if you don't respect someone's wishes when they don't want to be with you, you aren't actually very nice.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly this. Especially since Scott has straight up pointed out that Stiles should just tell her and he's like oh, no, can't do that and risk rejection. Being rejected sucks, but you can't expect that someone is going to read your mind and magically know your feelings or that if you're nice enough to them or act in certain ways that you'll win them over without having to admit anything and take that risk.