fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2197 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2197 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #314.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's a horse penis, you immature asshats. It probably means the horse has to pee. Because unlike dogs, where if you see its dick you better run the fuck away because that thing is turned on and coming for you, male horses can't pee unless they "hang out" or drop their penis out of their sheath. They also tend to "hang out" a little when they're really relaxed or someone is doing a really good job of grooming them. This particular horse's penis isn't erect. He's just "hanging out" a bit. In fact, that miniature horse is probably a gelding. Which means it has no balls. Which means it can't reproduce, and has no testosterone, and doesn't get erections. Grow the fuck up.

Also, fully extended horse penises are much longer than that. Here have some full horse dick (http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=33837,filename=1177348575-1237-horse_dick.jpg), since you're looking for it (sfw). That's a semi-erect stallion. He probably smells a mare somewhere near him. When he gets really excited, his penis will flare around the tip and get fully erect so it will probably smack itself on his stomach a few times. Also some stallions do that when they're bored, because unlike dogs they can't hump things to masturbate. And it's a pain in the ass because then the stallion charges everybody and shows off and makes a huge fuss and generally gets himself or others hurt.

I know this stuff because I've been riding for fifteen years and had to get over seeing horse dick pretty quick, and because my horse is a gelding and every so often you have to reach up into gelding sheaths to clean them out of all the dirt and dead skin (which peels and flakes off like a huge, half-centimeter thick sunburn), and also get rid of the bean, which is a dried ball of pee that gets trapped under the skin of some male horses and causes discomfort and urinary problems (kind of like a kidney stone I suppose). And then your hand (and arm, depending on how far up you had to reach) smells like nasty-ass musty horse dick for hours afterward, no matter how many times you wash it.

This has been your monthly dose of horse penis and sheath info, since you're clearly looking for it. I'm not OP, but I hope now that this is another way of turning people away from being juvenile idiots about horses.

LOL

I have never seen anyone get this passionate about horse dick.

I have.

Usually in furry ERP, though...

I found it educational!

Me too!

same here!

post of the year

Having had to clean a penis sheath before, yes. To all this.

And let's not forget the silly geldings who are turned out with mares who come into heat and the geldings think they can still do something about it. And when the gelding is in his late 20's, you're going, "PLEASE GET OFF OF HER, YOU IDIOT" and wondering who put him out there with the mares in the first place, and hoping that you don't have to call his owners to tell them their dumb horse had a heart attack trying to mount a mare.

Thank you for that picture. I've just been crying with laughter over the look on her face. Dear God, this thread...

I'm amazed that this isn't even the first time I've heard about people having to routinely clean horse dicks, but now with more wondrous detail. I don't know how the internet imparts this kind of knowledge on me when I don't even go looking for it, but here it is.

Also I'm reasonably sure you just provided inspiration to a few MLP fanfic writers lurking around here, so, congrats for making their horse porn a little more informed.

Wow, uh

You sound upset

They've probably had to hear shit like this for a looooong time, if I had to guess.

....thanks.

Wtf?! I cannot believe you're on a soap box about horse dicks of all things. Yeah, it's kinda immature that people are laughing. But so what?

Srsly. Not everybody's going to be in a position to know all the details about horse cock, and next, sheesh, unclench, will ya? This ain't no opera house.

Thank you.

Eh, I don't see it as being all that ridiculous. If you live with animals and care for them, I can understand how it'd be irritating to have a bunch of people giggling and going EW EW EW at a part of your life. And think of how much of that you'd get on a regular basis.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-08 03:21 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-08 07:27 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-08 10:28 (UTC) - Expand

Oh my God, though, now *you* sound angry over nothing? It's just a senseless escalation of people being unreasonably, humorously angry over nothing, and ...
I can't.
*crying with laughter*

And then your hand (and arm, depending on how far up you had to reach) smells like nasty-ass musty horse dick for hours afterward, no matter how many times you wash it.

Does your horse have a latex allergy? Even if he does, they make PVC gloves, you know.

*raises eyebrows*

Well, this has been educational

....I still think horse dick is hilarious...XD

f!s: come for the wank, stay for the educational posts!