case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-01-20 03:37 pm

[ SECRET POST #2210 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2210 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 101 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)

[personal profile] thene 2013-01-21 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
That's not the only risk, though. My parents had their last child when my mother was almost 45 and my father was 49. They were both dead before my little brother finished college.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-21 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
Anybody who has a child risks creating an orphan. Death is no respecter of age.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-21 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
This and plus they died younger than average age as well. Death really don't give two fucks about how old you are.
thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)

[personal profile] thene 2013-01-21 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
Uh, yes it does? Age is kinda a major governing factor when it comes to mortality. You can't realistically disregard it.
thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)

[personal profile] thene 2013-01-21 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Indeed - I was 11 when my mother died. Like Downs, it's a risk for anyone but one which is much much more common if you have children later in life. And before death (and therefore much more commonly) the children of people who left it until late have to become carers to someone (two people, in our case) whose physical and neural health, and mobility, is declining (which can also mean children get assigned the responsibility to raise their younger siblings). Support for young carers and for bereaved children is pretty damn patchy, too.

It is only a risk, but it's a significant one - much more common than Downs - and one which society as a whole fails to face up to & offer support for. You really can't ignore the age factor here.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2013-01-21 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
True, but you never know how fate will turn out. I went to school with a girl whose parents had her in their twenties, yet they both died when her 3 younger sibling were still in school, within a mere few months of each other. It increases your likelihood of you seeing your kids grow up, but it's no guarantee.

And in this case, while the mother is older, the father is in fact exceptionally young - so if you go by that logic, they'll have their dad for a very long time, even though they might lose their mum earlier.
thene: "I think it may be just as well to have a good understanding even with shades." (s.)

[personal profile] thene 2013-01-21 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
Indeed, I just know firsthand how shit society is at support young carers and orphans, so I can't look at a new parent in their mid-forties without considering that risk of declining health and mortality - age being a primary risk factor for both of those things, which are far far more common than Downs.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2013-01-21 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh I understand that. I think it's natural that our own experiences shape the way we see the world. Sorry about your parents, that must have sucked...

I think I just have a naturally strong reaction when people feel the need to police people reproductive choices (mostly women's reproductive choices).

Obviously some ages are more ideal to have a kid than others, but life is not ideal, some people meet their soulmate late in life etc. And I think they've got just as much right as anyone else to still try for a family.

(Anonymous) 2013-01-22 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Should police officers, soldiers and people in other higher risk careers not have kids?
thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)

[personal profile] thene 2013-01-22 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Feel free to do the math on their risk of disability, chronic illness and death over the next 20 years and compare it to that of people in the age 45-70 age group, anon.