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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-01-25 07:38 pm
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[ SECRET POST #2215 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


There is a moving gif in this post.


01.


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02.
[Rose McGowan]


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03.
[Puella Magi Madoka Magica]


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04.


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05.
[Fringe]


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06.


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07.
[Touhou Project / Axis Powers Hetalia: Romaheta / Kuroshitsuji / Homestuck]


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08.
[Being Human UK]


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09.
[Three Kingdoms 2010]


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10.
[Legend]


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11. http://i.imgur.com/fO4RU.jpg
[linked for kind of porny/suggestive postures of possibly underage character]


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12. http://i.imgur.com/T28p7.jpg
[linked for illustrated porny x 2 (clothed, but that doesnt do much)]


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13.
[Downton Abbey]


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14.
[Xia Junsu/Tarantellera]


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15.


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














16. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey]



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17. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















18. [WARNING for abuse]



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19. [WARNING for abuse]



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20. [WARNING for incest]



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Notes:

Late day at work, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #316.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - template ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
How would destroying the computer help? If I'd been doing something dangerous the computer wouldn't have been the cause of that, just a tool I was using. Take away the tools, the kid will just find another way to do what they were doing. Failing to treat the root cause of the problem? That's neglect right there.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Most forms of punishment do not address the root of the problem. If your kid is caught painting on the walls, sending them to their room is not done because they have a long and loving attachment to their room, and you are trying to reunite them with it and cease their aggressive attack on the wall (obviously caused by lack of constant room occupancy). It's done to reinforce the idea of consequences.

You SHOULD, presumably, explain that the wall is your property, and now you will have to clean it, which will cause you a lot of work. It was rude and unfair, and as punishment, you are being sent to your room. But just explaining why it shouldn't be done is not very effective in most situations. If it's their first offense and they knew better, fine. But again, I've been talking a LOT about being fair.

It might also be appropriate to ban them from their paints for awhile. That's just taking away the tool, and not the root, though.

As I've said, if your kid already knows the dangers, the rule they are breaking is VERY important, and the punishment should be harsh, to reflect upon that. I would not choose to break their computer, but it is an appropriate response still.

Here's another:

If your kid is drinking and driving, is busting the motor to their car inappropriate?

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
If your kid is drinking and driving, is busting the motor to their car inappropriate?

Yes, it is. What's appropriate is calling the fucking cops because DUI is a crime. Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with you?

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, so, do you think it's fair to lock your kid up in a room for several months without contact with the outside world or their belongings is an acceptable response? And this is somehow less abusive than breaking their motor?

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
I think it's fair for the parent to allow the police to do so, yes. Because at least in court, the kid has a chance to defend themselves. The parent doesn't give them that choice.

That you can;t see the difference between a punishment meted out only after specific criteria are met and according to a very complex set of rules in which both sides have a fair chance to make a case, and a punishment meted out willy-nilly for any reason and with all the power on one side...yes, you're fucking crazy.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Again, this applies to literally every punishment a parent can give. A kid can't defend themselves to a parent who has absolute authority over them in most cases. They can't say "but I didn't mean it!" and have a set of checks and balances to protect them, no matter what the case. You must assume the parent is just and fair anyway.

I have said again and again and again that this is a severe punishment. I've said it so many times I'm surprised it hasn't been written into the code of this website and been instantly repeated back to anyone who has said to me "wait, you haven't thought of THIS!".

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
Which is why there are certain punishments that parents should not be allowed to mete out. Locking their kids up and breaking their possessions are some of them.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
I agree on the inverse, in a sense. Some punishments are appropriate for the gov't, some only for parents. Jail for the former, breaking their car/phone/etc for the latter.

I think people are reading a level of violence in it that is unnecessary. Children are not masters of symbolism and analogy. No kid is going to think "this person will hurt me and there is no justice in the world", they are going to realize the very bad consequence to their very bad actions, as how all punishments are.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
I think the kids who've been in that situation who are responding to you and telling you what their reaction was might have a better grasp of that than you.

Having had violence directed at things that belonged to me, trust me, it's not that long a step to thinking violence might then be directed at me personally as well. Kids are perfectly capable of grasping that.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
You're right.

http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/746425.html?thread=622454457#cmt622454457

I'm sure you will find examples of it being used poorly--being sent to your room can be used poorly as well, but that's not a good example of how that punishment should be used, is it?

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
What you're saying here is that punishment for misbehaviour should escalate in proportion to the violation, up to and including violence. I don't agree.

(And there is no other reason to break something other than to be violent. Taking it away would be the same punishment, without the inclusion of "fear me, I have the power to break your things".)

I'm the same anon who made the point about parenting = teaching your child about adult consequences. You never replied there, but I'm not typing it out again. Commonly agreed upon adult consequences don't include other people breaking the things you care about as retribution. It's considered childish/illegal.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
There's no reason to send them to their room besides "Fear me, I have the power to lock you up.", is that not so?

Of course it isn't, but when I warp your tactics the way you warp mine, it comes across as pretty ridiculous, doesn't it?

I have no idea if I've replied to you. I've replied to like fifty people.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Nobody's warping your tactics. They're plenty warped and fucked up and abusive on their own, exactly as you present them.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
Loss of freedom is a commonly agreed upon adult consequence for misbehaviour. It's not considered violent.

Another thing commonly agreed upon is that kids should be protected from adult consequences, and that parents are responsible for preparing kids to face them. If parents use tactics to punish kids that are unacceptable in wider society (like pointless destruction of their things) it's unnecessary and teaches them that it's an appropriate response to misbehaviour.

My comment:

http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/746425.html?thread=622499513#cmt622499513

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I've replied to it since. I've addressed all your points many times in this thread. There's a list of arguments against them I have somewhere. It's not on my clipboard.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
No, you have not. You haven't addressed a single argument in this thread with anything that isn't a complete strawman or strictly semantic bullshit.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Then reply to that bulleted list that's hanging around here somewhere.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
Other people already have, and said it better than I'm able to.

You're fucking creepy. Please go away.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Only one person has, actually. Still talking to them.

Then stop replying.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
lol and this way you managed to avoid acknowledging either of my points - GJ!

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-26 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Because I've already acknowledged them. Elsewhere.
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