fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2220 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2220 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sherlock, The Hobbit, Doctor Who]

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[Hotel Transylvania]

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[Skyfall]

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[Love Actually]

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[The Walking Dead]

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[Small Wonder]

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[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]

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[Downton Abbey]

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[Magi]

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[Homestuck]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #317.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It sort of annoys me when men try to get me off, it's like, for me, for whatever reason the most enjoyable part of having sex with a guy is getting HIM off. I can get off whenever I want by myself (it's not like I never get off during sex, I orgasm all the time and it's really good most of the time, it's just not as important to me for some reason)

It's gotten to the point where it kinda makes sex with the guy I'm seeing less enjoyable sometimes because he's so adamant about getting me off every time (even if it's the third or fourth go around and I already came previously)

Does anyone else ever feel like this or is it just me?

"It sort of annoys me when men try to get me off, it's like, for me, for whatever reason the most enjoyable part of having sex with a guy is getting HIM off"

And what about if you got with someone who felt the same way?

Huh, weird, I could have written this. Yeah, if I'm just interested in orgasms, I can get myself off better and more often than if I had a partner. If I'm having sex I want to be having sex and getting the guy off, because I find that pretty hot and enjoyable in and of itself.

What I'm saying is, I totally agree, so YANA.

Two things:

1) If you like getting him off, then put yourself in his metaphorical shoes. He wants to reciprocate, so enjoy it! I've heard enough stories about guys that couldn't care less.

2) If it really bothers you this much, then in a not-sex situation, I'd suggest talking about it. Tell him that it's okay and he doesn't have to every time, that sometimes you just want him to enjoy himself. Maybe agree on a cue for when he can go for it. Communication is so very important in these things, since expectations are so different.

And this part is just a cautionary thing since it doesn't sound like this is a problem so I didn't number it, but if he's trying and somewhat failing at getting you off, explain to him what works for you. It seems that it's incredibly difficult for me to orgasm with pure penetration alone, and I usually need clitoral stimulation. At first, my husband took this as a failing on his part, but we talked about it and he realizes it's not. I also realized that I wasn't failing on my own end for not climaxing from penetration. There's so many weird wives tales around that it's stupid. My favorite was when our mutual male friend told my husband in private that when a woman can't orgasm from penetration, it's because she masturbated too much in her past (seriously? SERIOUSLY? I was so pissed about that). My husband hadn't blabbed about our sex life so our friend was just speaking generally but still...holy shit talk about some male just taking the easy way out and blaming the chick for daring to be sexual. Like he didn't choke the chicken on a daily basis. /derail

That's not weird :U

But you gotta work on that communication! Dude wants to reciprocate, or maybe he feels like you're doing all the work? If he's taking what you're telling him are turnoffs as challenges, he's definitely being an ass though.

Not really...? But at the same time, out of the times I've had sex, my partners have usually stopped when I've decided I've had enough [almost always after getting them off, unless something was just too painful.]

Have you expressed this to him? Do you think it might be a pride thing? [The one ex who *would* try to ignore me after I asked him to stop getting me to cum was doing it for the pride of 'I can always make her...' type of thing.]

[ SECRET POST #2220 ]

Is this weird? Question for sexually active people

Re: Is this weird? Question for sexually active people

Re: Is this weird? Question for sexually active people

Re: Is this weird? Question for sexually active people

Re: Is this weird? Question for sexually active people

Re: Is this weird? Question for sexually active people