[ SECRET POST #2230 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2230 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because blizzard, not quite sure if power will last.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 103 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[dreemyweird]

Um, I'm not sure about this. I do have a very grim world outlook, that much is true. However, it doesn't seem to interfere with my life.

What can be worrying is that I would like to have an opportunity of commiting quick and painless suicide at any given moment; but people usually assume that the wish to kill oneself bespeaks depression, and I don't feel anything that strong. It's not even like my life is bad (sometimes it is pretty good), just very tiresome. The game's not worth the candle. And I would like to drop it as soon as something really bad happens. [which does not mean that I wouldn't die content at the age of eighty, because by "really bad" I mean "terrible" or "extremely painful"]

...thank you for your concern, though. It is nice of you to worry about me.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, you didn't come here to be psychoanalyzed and I didn't come here to psychoanalyze, so I'm just going to say that feeling life is tiresome and not feeling anything very strongly is classic, classic depression. When I was really depressed I described myself as being bored. That is all.

[dreemyweird]

I suppose you're right *rubs the bridge of the nose*

But I'm not sure if it should bother me. It doesn't feel like something's wrong.

[velvet_mace]

Yeah, those are signs of depression. It's not necessarily feeling sad or horrible. A lot of times it's just not being able to find joy and excitement in things that you should be able to find joy and excitement in. All your feelings are flattened. Feeling like a robot just going through the motions. Feeling tired all the time. Depression often isn't caused by trauma, it's purely a brain chemistry out of wack thing. It shows up a lot in late adolescence/early adulthood.

I'd talk it over with your doctor. An antidepressant may make an incredible difference in how good you feel. Like night and day.

[(Anonymous)]

This was how I felt/thought when I was depressed.

The game's not worth the candle.

This, in particular, is not something a non-depressed person would say. Thinking sometimes because you're tired, hey, it happens. But holding it as your default state of mind? Not good.

Like,

I would like to have an opportunity of commiting quick and painless suicide at any given moment; but people usually assume that the wish to kill oneself bespeaks depression, and I don't feel anything that strong.

This is exactly what I thought too. Please, talk to someone. :(

[(Anonymous)]

I'm on meds, I'm in therapy (which fucking hurts), I have a great support network. I'm a reasonably happy and mindful person, obnoxiously optimistic and generally positive.

But if I could get off this ride without kicking someone in the face, I would. That's not selfish, and that's not sick.

[(Anonymous)]

Medication frequently needs to be readjusted. Even with everything going for you, if the positive in your life is not positive enough for you to want to keep it instead of giving it up for nothingness, then your meds aren't doing their job.

One of the problems with depression is that it makes things that should give you satisfaction, happiness, excitement and connection not give you those things or just barely give you the tiniest unsatisfying taste of them. You may think you are happy because all the clues say you should be, but you don't actually feel that happy. You feel a mildly positive buzz that's barely more than nothing at all with a "happy" label slapped on. Fake it till you make it it is great, but not if you can never make it. Therapy and optimism doesn't work with this. It needs the right meds in the right amounts.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand that you're trying to give me honest advice here, and I appreciate that. And I'm glad medication is working for you! That's awesome. You are, however, being a really condescending and offensive jerk about it.

You don't know how I feel, so don't talk to me as if you did. You don't know what I do in therapy, so please don't off-handedly describe it as FITYMI. You don't know what my full diagnosis is, so don't pretend you can give me medical advice.

PS: There is no medication for my disorder, only for the symptoms (one of which is depression, which is exactly what I'm getting medicated for).