case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-02-09 02:34 pm

[ SECRET POST #2230 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2230 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because blizzard, not quite sure if power will last.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 103 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-02-10 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
I had to give a talk like this to a friend of mine before (we basically had an intervention but I was nominated speaker as the most blunt)

Paraphrasing it was:

"What they mean is you're very friendly and girls can take it as you being interested in them. I know that you're just being friendly 'cause I know you and know you're not interested in me, but they haven't known you for long and assume you're being that friendly because you're interested. It's not a bad thing, just mixed messaging 'cause you're a friendly guy."

re: a friend of mine who's just very friendly. Will focus all their attention, sit close, a bit handsy, overly helpful/eager to please, retriveing drinks, foods, responding to any slight comment with helpfulness. I knew he wasn't interested in me because he knows I'm gay and utterly uninterested so I ignore him being that way but the other girls at the party don't know that he is just that friendly. So they take it to mean he's interested because in our experiences that's how a guy who is interested acts (and in any other guy it would be sending up the "holy shit he's interested" flags for me, ESPECIALLY if we've only met a few times and are relative strangers)

It's unfortunate, but that's how it can be if you've just met and you're ~too~ friendly
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2013-02-10 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
...yeah, I would take those as "holy shit he's interested" flags too.

It's one thing to say all people who are nice are being flirty (which I disagree with and also don't really think that's what "flirty" means) but it's another thing for people to think they can treat you suuuuper nice and not have people get the wrong message. I had that happen lately with a friend I *was* interested in and it was awkward for a little bit while we sorted that out. And he was still all "but I was just being nice!!!" when EVERYONE around us, not just me, thought he was into me. :|