fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2245

⌈ Secret Post #2245 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #321.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - come on, troll with a little more subtlety ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

NS, NF, etc.

[ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - too big ]

I understand how you feel, anon. :<

I'm so glad we are using Sally again :) (takes all the credit for his one thread that one time)

And yes, yes it did.

It really did.

It seems like snark, wank, and gossip just slowly faded away to nothing.

this is sadly one of those things that you can't force

you won't stop caring until you gain more self-confidence, and you can't really fake that, it has to happen naturally, as you gain new insights and more experience

I

Just

Don't

Give

A

Fuck.

It's a mantra. You want it to be a state of mind. This is not an immediate or easy thing to do, just a simple one. Next time you are tempted to hold back identifying who you are for the sole reason that others might judge you, say that to yourself about 3 or 4 times while you do it anyway. It's freeing. Eventually you become the mantra.

Mind ust remember not to use it when actual people in your life you care about have something to tell you. Listen to them. Strangers on the internet or in real life, not so much. (Except me. Listen to me right now.) Remember that the people who judge you so simply are the people not worth your time, but since that's hard right off, just remeember you don't give a general fuck, let alone a specific one. Eventually, the lie will be truth.

Reggie watts says it better then I can

http://youtu.be/Sagq3V5K_CA?t=3m24s

Thank you for this.

Thank you. This was one of those rare occasions in life when a piece of advice seems good.

Fandom is a big place anon. There are always going to be troublemakers and rude people in fandom (as in RL), but no one fandom is going to be all horrible no matter how bad a rep it has; sometimes people exaggerate about that. If you're enjoying yourself: good. Stay away from the wank and you'll be fine.

It helps if you understand that most of the time people who piss on someone else's parade are bullies, and that they only have power to "make you feel bad" IF YOU LET THEM.

So ...
1. Read up on bully psychology.
2. Don't participate in fandom venues with high nastyfolk populations.
3. If you want to find people to squee with about your fandom, try leaving a review on good fanfiction for your fandom. Generally people write for fandoms they like, and A03 (for example) is pretty user-friendly for starting a dialog within the review comments (and yes you can do this with FFnet as well.) ~

Are there valid and well-constructed criticisms of your fandom?

If yes: take these things into consideration, recognize the problems, and if you're still a fan, be a fan with these things in mind.

If no: roll your eyes and ignore the fucknuts.

Me too, anon. Me too.

I miss fandom wank. Oh, for the glory days, with wanks like Potterdammerung and "his wife? A horse."

Yessssss. Now it's walking on eggshells, lest you be considered "HOMO/TRANSPHOBIC MISOGYNIST RACIST!"

"*Whuffle* Not carrot. Carrot plz?"

Hee. That was funny.

I'm confused. How is fandom wank dead? They still post stuff over there, and people still comment. The last one *i* read was the insane and incredibly revolting reaction of a segment of Supernatural fandom to the announcement that Jensen and Daneel Ackles were going to have a baby.....

I have the exact same problem as you, anon with the too big secret. I wish I could get back that unabashed joy I used to take in e.g. my favorite bands, but instead I try to not get as attached to their music since any negative comment leaves me seething for hours afterwards. I feel so, so silly about that.

Uh, no. What made Fandom_secerts less used was the influx of people that though f_w should 'punish' people instead of laughing at stupid things. Also the sale of Livejournal itself to people that didn't give a fuck if there was a community making fun of others. A lot of the 'wank' moved to places like sf_drama among other places. Also the decline of LJ and the rise of twiter and tumblr where tracing the history of a wank and being able to report it with any sort of clarity is near impossible.

Telling people that rape and misgendering people is not funny, clever, or witty isn't what killed fandom_wank.

[ SECRET POST #2245

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tb

N!S

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too big

T!B: Repeat after Me

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Re: T!B: Repeat after Me

TB

TB

TB

TB

NS

Re: NS

Re: NS

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